The Other Kind of Soulmate
by BlackMajjicDuchess
Summary: She was minus a sister; he, a brother. Brought together by tragic circumstances, they forged the unbreakable bond of family in secret. She'd do anything to bring her big brother home. His little sister kept him alive in his darkest moments. -Full summary inside. 100K words coming your way.
1. Title Page

**This is the Title Page. The story begins on the next page, but this is the rundown. I like my stories to be neat, and most books have a title page. This should tell you everything you need to know to decide if it's something you want to read. :)**

*****SPOILER ALERT***If you are not up to date on the ANIME, definitely do not read. If you are not up to date on the MANGA, I do not recommend that you read, but it is more permissible (secondary characters to my story will die). This story is current to Chapter 613 minus everything going on with Sasuke during the war. I needed him to be somewhere else, so I moved him.**

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**Title: The Other Kind of Soulmate**

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**Summary**

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Her older sister was gone, exiled by their very own father, leaving her without the sister that she loved more than anything. Gone were the days of blanket forts, giggles, and the mispronunciation of grown up words. She had so much happiness to share, if there were anyone there to enjoy it.

His foolish little brother was far, far out of his reach. After all, he'd taken everything from him, destroyed his world, and killed any hope of enjoying a relationship with friends or family. He couldn't blame the boy for wishing him dead. He deserved death, but _that_ he saved for a purpose, a purpose so far into the future that he was worried he would destroy himself before the day came.

They needed each other.

Despite his better judgment, they forged an inseparable bond in secret. Sometimes secrets can get you killed… but sometimes, it might just be worth the trouble.

Hanabi would do anything to bring her big brother home.

Itachi's little sister kept him alive.

After all, there's something profoundly special about the family that you choose to call your own.

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**Characters:**

Itachi Uchiha

Hanabi Hyuuga

Hiashi Hyuuga, Hinata Hyuuga, Sasuke Uchiha, Ino Yamanaka, Inoichi Yamanaka, Ibiki Morino, Granny Cat, Ko, Neji Hyuuga, Homura Mitokado, Koharu Utatane, Danzo Shimura, Hiruzen Sarutobi, Tenten, Kisame Hoshigaki, Might Gai, Shizune, Naruto Uzumaki, Sakura Haruno, Kakashi Hatake, Shikamaru Nara, Tsunade Senju

**OCs**: Nekokira, Washi, Hachidori, Karasu and Kawa the ninja cats, and Inu the Raven. Couple of cameos from a couple of random and useless chunin. Amiko (Itachi's lover, who existsonly briefly)

**Pairings:** If you're reading this for some pairing love, step away. There are some very, very minor hints at it, but romance was not my focus.

**Rated M: **For dark situations, suicidal thoughts, violent imagery, tragedy, romantic situations, and graphic illness.

**Acknowledgments:** For Codaram, who encouraged me to be brave enough to push the word count limit of my writing, and humbled me with the publication of Entwined by Love, Enslaved by Fate (which is still incomplete, and at this time, has passed 500,000 words).

**Special Considerations: ***THIS IS NOT A HANABI/ITACHI ROMANCE*****

**Timeline: **I try incredibly hard to make my stories fit the timeline of Kishimoto's Naruto. I've even got a spreadsheet at home where I've inserted the events that take place in this story with what age (presumably) the characters have attained (I even have their birthdays). I did a lot of research to try to pinpoint when certain events happen, and it's not easy, let me tell you. Also, I call it quits right about the time the war _breaks out._ It's really hard to have to keep adjusting your plot just because of a new manga chapter (and believe me... after 100,000 words, there were a few new chapters). I'll make a note of it at the end of the relevant chapters in case you get confused.

Also, the events surrounding the Uchiha massacre (in regards to whose idea it was, the words that passed between Itachi and the elders, and the exact timeline in which he meets Tobi, etc.) are SUPER hard to pick apart. I probably didn't NAIL it. I tried, okay?


	2. Itachi's Lover

**Chapter One: Itachi's Lover**

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**A/N:** Timeline: Night of the Uchiha Massacre. I set this as t=0 (time zero), the beginning point of my story.

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The night was serene and peaceful in the Village Hidden in the Leaves. There was a slight breeze, but nothing too substantial. The air was sweet and heavy with the fragrance of summertime. By now, most of the villagers would be sleeping, save for the few that were on night watch duty and the night owls who preferred another schedule. Even the Uchihas were probably sleeping by now, their secret meetings adjourned for the day. But three Uchihas were certainly not asleep.

One was Sasuke, who had not yet returned from his daily dose of training.

One was Itachi, who now perched lightly on the peak of a rooftop somewhere on the Uchiha clan grounds.

And one was the inhabitant of the house with that same rooftop.

Itachi crouched on the most important rooftop in his entire world, lost in dark and troubling thoughts. He had much to consider on this fateful evening. His whole world was going to change tomorrow, one way or another. The decision was entirely his, and it was not a decision that any man could take lightly, much less him. There would be far more killing, blood, and death than he would be able to stand, no matter what. The words of three people played themselves over and over in his mind, urging him toward the perfect choice. He had one of three to choose. Any of them would be a gamble. All of them meant certain death.

"_If a civil war starts, it will be hard to fight against the Uchiha. We must think of a strategy. Uchiha used to be our comrades in arms… I want to use words and not power against them. I will think of a strategy. Itachi, try to gain as much time as you can. I will come to the grounds tomorrow to speak with the leaders of the Clan. We can solve this peacefully."_

"_Tomorrow, the Third Hokage will be accompanying my son to our home to meet with all who wish to attend. I can think of no better time to kill him and start our revolution. By this time tomorrow evening, Konoha will be ours. We've done very well, my friends."_

"_Itachi… the Third talked like that, but he will act if the Leaf needs to be protected. That's the way he is. If that happens, even he, as the Hokage, will have to take drastic measures. Whether the war happens or not… once they've tried to make a coup d'etat the Uchiha will necessarily be annihilated, your unknowing little brother included. But by acting before it happens, he can still be saved. If the coup happens, your younger brother will see everything, too. He will see his whole clan be destroyed by a Shinobi of the Leaf and will unmistakably want to get revenge on the Village. And in that case, he will have to be killed, too."_

"_Are you threatening…?"_

"_No…I want you to choose. You can either stand on the Uchiha's side, participate in the coup and be destroyed together with your clan… or stand on the Leaf's side, save your brother before the coup happens and help destroy the Uchiha clan."_

Within the house beneath his feet was the one person in his world that he trusted. His troubled thoughts had led him here because he needed answers, and he didn't quite trust himself to make the right choice. He would move the earth and stars to make sure Sasuke lived a long and happy life, even if it meant his own reputation or life. A Shinobi was not supposed to let his emotions rule his actions, and Itachi was the _perfect_ Shinobi. In this particular instance, though, he knew he could not think clearly. Sasuke's safety was foremost in his mind. It was clouding his judgment.

He stood and inhaled a deep breath. It did absolutely nothing to settle his nerves. It couldn't be helped, though. He dropped to the ground in front of the front door. Even then, he hesitated. He placed a hand on the doorknob, so gently that it didn't make a sound. He stared at the painted dark blue wood and at the Uchiha fan symbol emblazoned there. If he shared his thoughts with anyone at this point, it could be the end of him. He really shouldn't trust anyone, least of all this person.

He released the doorknob and turned, ready to leave. He should not have come here. He took a step away from the dark blue door and the person inside. He would make it through this decision on his own.

"_I am not a ninja like you. I don't give a damn about any of that."_

"_You don't understand. Anything I tell you can get you killed whether you're a ninja or not. Two people can keep a secret if one of them is dead." A knife flashed, threatening._

"_As if I could believe that you can actually kill anyone." A wry and knowing smile._

"_I could. A person is not so different from a person-shaped target." Hesitation._

"_A person screams and begs for mercy. A person bleeds." A softer voice, challenging._

"_Aren't you afraid?" Confusion._

"_You won't let me die. You won't let anyone you care about die." A hand grasping his, lowering the knife._

"_And what makes you so sure I care about you?" A frown. A very dangerous frown. _

_And then a wink and a sly smirk. She didn't need words._

"Amiko," he whispered to the night air. "I always said I'd protect you, no matter what." His frown softened, his expression serene once again.

He turned back to the door and didn't hesitate. He grasped the knob, twisted, and pushed the door inward. It opened without a sound, for which he was grateful. He knew where he'd find her at this time of the night. As he approached the dining room table, the glow from the candle grew brighter. With the rest of the house dark, there was no way she'd see him coming. He was the stealthiest ninja in all of—

"Itachi, I know you're there," came the amused feminine voice seated at the table. "I was starting to wonder if you were just going to stare at my door all night."

He sighed heavily. This woman continued to surprise and baffle him at every turn. "How did you know?" he asked, sliding into one of the dining room chairs.

She folded the page over on her book and set it down on its cover so he couldn't see what she was reading. He knew very well that she read smutty romance novels, but she was too embarrassed to share that knowledge with him. She grasped her teacup in both hands and settled back in her chair, the blanket draped over her shoulders like a shawl. She smiled at him and winked. "Woman's intuition. What kind of lover would I be if I didn't notice you were around?"

He chose not to answer. For a very long moment, neither of them said anything. Amiko understood his stoicism. She knew that he had a lot on his mind at any given time, and even knew some of what he thought about. So when he came to be with her, she knew that a lot of time it was just to have a quiet place to think. She didn't dare interrupt his thoughts. He would speak when he wished and not a moment before, and she would wait patiently for him to tell her or not. Sometimes, all he wanted was a quick kiss. Sometimes he wanted more than that. Sometimes less.

He took in the sight of her face by the candlelight. How he'd gained the attention of this woman was entirely a mystery to him. She was much older than he at twenty years of age, and had never even tried to be a Shinobi. It wasn't odd at all that she had heard of his existence, though. He was, like it or not, the most talked about ninja in the village. At thirteen years old, he had accomplished things beyond imagining. He'd graduated the academy in record time, mastered the Sharingan at eight years old, and, most recently and notably, become a captain in the ANBU black ops. It wasn't that she had heard of him that surprised him; it was that she had chosen him at all. Amiko was a gentle woman. She cared for her own garden of flowers and herbs and looked after some of the village's smallest children while their parents were working or training. She could fix clothes or torn flesh with the same delicacy, hated any kind of violence whatsoever, and shunned the Shinobi way. He was a perfectly honed weapon who exuded violence from his every pore and could kill a person just by twitching his littlest finger.

And yet, she'd seen him, sought him out, and seduced him. It wasn't that difficult. She was a balm to his senses, everything that he was not. His life was steeped in blood, death, and danger. He tried to please his father while he shared all of his father's secrets with the village elders, and he tried to please the Hokage while he divulged some of that secret information, too. Every day he fell asleep wondering if he'd slipped up somewhere along the way and might be killed. Some nights he didn't even sleep for fear that he'd missed something incredibly important. He trained mercilessly, wanting to be ready for anything, running himself to the point of exhaustion and beyond. If needed, he would be honed and ready, the perfect killing machine, able to suppress all of his emotions and fears to deal out death in spades.

He was sharp edges and deadly intent. She was soft curves and smiles. Knives and murder versus laughter and healing. A smile… a caress… some gentle words and soft hands, and he was hopelessly addicted. She'd coaxed his inexperienced body into bed and shown him heaven, breathed life back into him, and worst of all, given him hope. No matter how bad the outside world had become, within these walls, he could believe that he'd get through it intact, and that everyone would move on toward a peaceful future without any more bloodshed.

As they sat at the dining room table where she sipped her favorite rosehip tea, he lost himself in her soft grey eyes. Finally, his nerves relaxed, and he took a deep breath. "I need to ask you something, and I need you to understand and accept that there is a very high probability that you will be killed before I can agree to tell you any details."

She smirked. "This again? Every time it's 'If I tell you they will kill you.' I already told you that I don't fear death. And besides, you said you'd protect me. You Shinobi are _so_ uptight about your secret information." She sipped at her tea, her eyebrows raised with merriment.

He didn't return the smile, though. He raised his hands palms up, staring at the naked weapons that they were. He frowned at them, considering the possibilities of all of his options. "What if… what if it were me that you needed to be protected from?"

Her eyes widened slightly, purely innocent. "I'm not sure I get what you're saying, Itachi. Why would you want to hurt me?" He didn't answer right away. She uncharacteristically lost a little of her patience. It was a sensitive question. "Itachi?"

"Amiko…" he turned his black eyes to her, and in them she read all of his pain and conflict. She fell silent again and waited, her tea now growing cold in her hands. "If I tell you everything, they will want to kill you if they know. Do you still want to know?" Wordlessly, she nodded. He heaved a heavy sigh, and when he said it, he averted his eyes. "The Uchiha clan is planning to seize control of Konoha." She gasped, one slight hand instinctively covering her mouth. "The Hokage means to try to talk to my father and the other leaders of the clan tomorrow. He is hoping we can compromise. On the other hand, my father is planning to assassinate the Hokage when he arrives tomorrow." She gasped again. "I've been offered another option, too." He tore his eyes away, unable to look at her as he said it. "I can eliminate the clan… in exchange for Sasuke's protection."

"Eliminate… you mean everybody?" Her voice rose to a squeak. He nodded, tortured, unable to meet her eyes again. "Even me?"

Tears welled in his eyes. He opened his mouth to speak, but the words caught in his throat and refused to emit. Amiko sighed. They didn't speak for several minutes. Finally, Amiko seemed to realize that her tea was cold, and she rose to brew more. She took the candle with her, and Itachi couldn't help but notice how cold and empty the space felt with her gone, even though she was only in the next room, and he could hear her busying herself with another pot of tea.

By the time she sat back down, he had regained composure. "I need you to understand these three decisions, so I'm just going to talk. Please just listen, and when I am done, can you let me know which course of action you think is best?" She nodded and set the tea down on the table. He reached across to pour it for her, but she motioned with her hand to stop him and poured it herself. It steamed by the light of the candle, but she didn't drink it. He continued. "If I go with the Hokage and attempt to compromise, there is the chance that we can come to some sort of agreement, and stop the fighting before it begins. Perhaps peace can be restored. However, if we do that, there is an even greater chance that the Hokage will be slain, and if that happens, the Uchiha will take control of Konoha and thrust the Village into a civil war, and it's very possible that other neighboring ninja villages will grasp the opportunity to attack while we're weak. What is attractive about the third choice though is that if I kill everyone here, the village would be safe, there'd be no war, and Sasuke would live. And, I might get a chance to spy on an enemy faction as a rogue ninja." He tried to catch her eyes then. "Amiko," he urged, his voice low and insistent, "whatever you ask of me, I will do, so long as Sasuke is protected."

He watched her. She was sipping her tea now. She noticed him watching her and seemed to take it as the signal that she should offer an opinion now. "What are the chances," she asked instead, so quietly he had to strain to hear her, "that your father and the others would be willing to make peace?"

She had ignored his romantic notion to run away together… and she had probably done it for his sake, knowing that he didn't really consider that an option. He exhaled a long sigh. "Absolutely none. They've been talking about this day for years. You should have seen the look on my father's face when I told him that the Hokage wanted to meet with him here personally, tomorrow. He was excited, and bloodthirsty. He really wants this." His shoulders slumped, defeated.

She smiled sadly. "I was afraid of that. It sounds to me like you already have your choice made, my love," she whispered. "You've always loved Sasuke more than me." He opened his mouth to protest, but she cut him off. "Don't deny it, Itachi. You've never lied to me before. Don't start now." It was true. There were things he'd never told her, but he never lied to this woman.

She stood so fast that it actually made him a little gun shy. He braced his hands on the table, prepared to leap out of the chair if need be, but he relaxed when he saw her smile. She arranged herself in his lap and planted her soft lips on his. "My little Shinobi," she cooed. "I've loved you more than any man twice your age. You're really extraordinary, you know that?" She rested her head against his chest. Despite her age, she was a very small woman, and easily fit into his lap.

He brought his fingertips to his mouth. His lips felt numb from hers. He realized with a shock what she'd just told him. She actually wanted him to go through with killing his clan! "Amiko," he whispered to the top of her head. "How can you be okay with letting me kill you? Don't you realize what you're asking?" He squeezed her tight in his arms. His chest hurt. He didn't want to let her go, not now or ever.

"Itachi," she mumbled. "For a genius, you're a real idiot. I'm already dead. I'd _never_ let you kill me. You'd hate yourself too much. And I certainly… am not… asking…" She struggled with the last sentence, panting.

And then, all of her breath escaped her, and he realized with a shock what had just happened. He licked his lips, his tongue instantly paralyzed. His gaze drifted to the teacup, still steaming. He dragged it closer to him and inhaled. The vapors burned his nostrils. He didn't recognize the component that had poisoned her, but with her knowledge of plants, he was sure she knew what she was doing. _I'd never let you kill me. _"Oh, Amiko," he choked, realizing that she'd killed herself just to spare him the burden of being responsible for her death. How wrong she was. Even if it was not his hand that had slain her, it was still his actions that led to her death. She had also forced his hand. Her sacrifice had decided his fate, for he would never let her life be wasted. He squeezed her lifeless body even harder to his chest. His breath of heaven had been extinguished. Every day from this day forward was destined to be his own private hell.

He kissed her forehead. It was slick with cold sweat and the tears that had abandoned him for her. Then he stood, lifting her as he did so. She didn't weigh very much. He carried her to the bed that they had shared so many times, lost to passion. He laid her down on the coverlet, then went downstairs to retrieve her things. He grabbed the candle, the book, the blanket, and even the cup of tea, then returned to her side. He covered her to the chin with the blanket. It was an afghan that she had crocheted herself in red, black, and white. Then he set the candle and the tea down on her nightstand. Finally, he went to set the book down, but the cover caught his eye._ Justine _was written on the front in gold lettering. Momentarily intrigued, he read the summary on the back page. He smiled wryly, thinking of his gentle Amiko reading such a book, then set it down on her chest beneath one hand, staging her so it appeared as if she'd merely fallen asleep.

He kissed her forehead one more time, his final farewell to the only woman he had ever loved and would ever love in his lifetime. He was too young for any of this; too young for love and sex, too young to be so entrenched in the violence, and certainly too young for what would inevitably come next. He trained his eyes on Amiko's lifeless face, mentally shutting down his emotions as he had been trained to do. Love, concern, sorrow, fear, apprehension… All of these, he suppressed until he could lay his eyes upon her pale face and feel nothing.

His heart dead in his chest, face damp from the tears, he left Amiko's house for the last time, drawing his sword.

Seemingly as if from nowhere, a shadow dropped in front of the moon, landing between Itachi and his clan members. He recognized the man immediately. His orange swirled mask with a single eyehole was a dead ringer. "Madara," he greeted tonelessly.

"Itachi," the man intoned, his deep voice resonating on the night air. This man had two guises; the other one was an idiot named Tobi, which he was using to throw off members of his organization, Akatsuki, making them think he was nothing to be concerned about. If Itachi had been a betting man, he'd gamble that, if he hadn't discovered the man skulking about the Leaf Village even he would not know his secret. "I wasn't aware you had feelings," the man joked.

"It's nothing that concerns you," Itachi shot back. "You wanted the destruction of the Uchiha clan. I'm ready. This happens tonight." He gripped the handle of his sword more tightly, wishing Madara would just step out of his way. If he waited any longer, his resolve was going to crack from overthinking it. This had been their plan all along; Itachi had met him some time back, and they'd agreed that if Itachi helped Madara get his revenge on the Uchiha clan for turning their backs on him, then he would leave the Leaf Village well enough alone. Itachi had been privately hoping that there was some way to get out of that, too, but it had always been an unfortunate possibility that he would actually have to eliminate the clan. Luckily, he'd managed to make the same deal with both devils in regards to the safety of the Leaf Village and his little brother. The price to each was the same: the Uchiha must die.

Itachi couldn't see it, but beneath the mask, the man called Tobi was smiling. "Yes, I do want that. Are you sure you are ready? They are your family after all."

Itachi rolled his eyes up to look at the moon. It was the same moon that anyone in the village could be looking at, thinking only thoughts of peace and quiet. Perhaps his mother, even… but no, he couldn't think like that. Not tonight. "Just remember our agreement. My parents are not for you, and Konoha and Sasuke are left in peace. You'll have your revenge. I'll do my part, but if I find that you aren't willing to do yours…" He left the threat hanging on the air, tension sparking.

The glinting red eye narrowed through the eyehole. "Don't underestimate me, Itachi Uchiha. You don't know what I am capable of. You'd be a fool to think you can so easily kill me."

His eyes returned to this man, his tentative ally and permanent enemy. When his two eyes locked on the one, they were shining a deadly red as well. "Don't underestimate me, either. One thing here is certain and that is that you also do not know of what I am capable, particularly when it comes to my little brother. The weakest strength stems from the anger of revenge. The strongest Shinobi fight for those they love."

They locked eyes for moments that stretched, sizing each other up. If it came down to a fight, it would be devastating, that was for sure. Finally, Madara averted his gaze. "Don't let me down, Itachi. Remember the score. If you destroy the rest of the Uchiha minus Sasuke, I partner you with my favorite member of Akatsuki and allow you to be part of my Moon's Eye Plan."

"Yeah, I remember," he answered, and brushed past Madara, rudely bumping shoulders. "I'll meet you when I feel like it, outside the border of Fire Country. I don't want to see you before then."

Laughter answered his back as he kept striding away. "Time to grieve, for the cold and merciless clan killer? It's poetic."

Itachi didn't dignify him with a response.

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**A/N:** If you had any trouble with those "three voices" speaking to Itachi at the beginning of the chapter, two are canon and one is not. The first voice was that of the Hokage (though I added the very last bit of it). The second was Itachi's father, obviously (not canon), and the third was Danzo (canon, word for word).

Also, there's some discrepancy about Itachi's age at the time of the Uchiha massacre. Personally, I think he'd be about fourteen before he got to the actual Kill-the-Uchiha mission, but when I researched it, most fans seem to agree that he's about thirteen for that, too (he was made captain of ANBU at thirteen, but that's the only clue we have to go on). For the purposes of the story, I'm going with he's thirteen.

By the way, I should let you know this up front… this story is going to be well over 100,000 words. You're in for a wild ride.

***Justine is a novel by the Marquis de Sade


	3. Runaways

Chapter Two: Runaways

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A/N: Timeline: t=0+1 (1 day after the Uchiha Massacre)

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He would always remember that night. It was sure to haunt his nightmares for every night onward. He could still feel the blade grind its way through his mother. He still felt the warm splash of her blood on his face, smelled the copper tang of it in his nostrils. He could still see the anguish in his father's eyes, barely concealed by the heart wrenching, disgusting pride that was there, too. He'd never forget the way his little brother had looked at him. And oh! The _hateful_ _things_ that he had said to make his little brother hate him! Every word of it cut a scar across his heart. All he saw in Sasuke's face was pure, cold terror, from a face that he'd only ever seen sullenly pouting or smiling or scowling (because he thought he was _supposed_ to scowl). Sasuke should only ever have known happiness and the carefree play of a boy his age. From now on, he'd only know hatred and revenge.

And it was _his_ fault.

Part of him wanted to believe he'd done the right thing. After all, if it weren't for the Uchiha massacre, all of Konoha would be endangered. His clan would have tried to overthrow the leadership of the village, and the whole world would have escalated into an all out war in which they might all be dead. In his mind, he knew he'd saved the lives of hundreds, if not thousands, of children just like Sasuke.

In his heart, he was screaming. For the short time it had taken him to steal through the shadows and slaughter every last member of the Uchiha Clan, saving his own immediate family for last, he had been merciless, cold and unfeeling. He suppressed all of his emotions to do what was necessary. He had even tried to suppress his love for his mother and father before he'd had to kill them, too, but in that department he still had weakness. He'd wept before he'd killed them. His emotions had unfurled at the edges, and before long he'd been shaking with grief. He'd only managed to hold onto the façade, barely, when Sasuke had burst into the scene. That should never have happened.

He saw the raw fright in Sasuke's eyes, and all of his emotions came crashing back to earth, breaking to a head behind his eyes. Outwardly, he was deadly calm, but inside he was a tempest. When he saw the stricken look on that little boy's face, he felt ashamed. He had just ripped Sasuke's entire world apart with the sword in his hand to save Konoha, and yet… when Sasuke lay there in shock, drooling on the floorboards at the scene of their parents' death, he realized something too important too late: Sasuke meant more to him than even his beloved Village Hidden in the Leaves. Belatedly, he determined to rectify this situation if it took him the rest of his life. Somehow, someday, he was going to make things right with his little brother, but for now…

"_Foolish little brother, if you wish to kill me, hate me, detest me, and survive in an unsightly way. Foster your hatred. Run, run and cling to your wretched life. And one day, when you have the same eyes as I do, come before me." _He had said that; he hoped that Sasuke would use that moment to become strong. Sasuke had pursued him for a short ways, but when he'd finally collapsed from being overwhelmed, Itachi had taken the opportunity to escape. As soon as he was out of eyeshot, he ran.

He simply ran. He didn't stop to think about where he was heading, just made a mad dash toward the moon as soon as he'd cleared the wall of the village. He had no concept of how far or how long he had gone, but at some point, his heart overwhelmed his feet and he tripped on them, sprawling out across the grass. It was an ungraceful moment for Itachi; the only one he was ever like to have in his life. He'd been the perfect ninja from start to finish, and to any's knowledge, had never made a single mistake in his progression. He'd been a genin at seven, mastered the Sharingan at eight, become a chunin at ten (before most even made genin), and an ANBU captain at thirteen. None of that mattered at all. He was but a broken boy with his face in the dirt, grieving the family he'd destroyed and the gentle woman who had sacrificed herself to protect him from himself. He didn't even bother to pick himself up off the ground. The dam finally broke, and the tears came, mixing with the dust and making muddy patches on his face.

Now he was a missing-nin at thirteen, too.

If anyone had seen him there, faceplanted in the dirt, they would have been shocked. As a ninja, he had always had perfect composure and a flawless uniform. He had never batted an eyelash at the tasks he had been assigned, and his form was perfect enough that he didn't usually suffer dirt or stains. And yet, here he was, face first in the dust of Konoha, mewling like a lost kitten for its mother.

_Mother…! _Her eyes were not near so accepting as his father's. She was a strong woman, Mikoto Uchiha. She had had to be, to survive his stern, harsh father. But nothing prepares a mother for her own death by her son's hand. He had seen the war behind her eyes as she struggled to come to terms with her death by Itachi's sword, all the while grieving his lost innocence, begging him for mercy, lamenting Sasuke's fate of vengeance, and generally fearing _him_. She did not want to die, and she did not want for him to be the one to kill her. He saw all of that in her dark eyes, and he had cut her down anyway.

But even then, he wasn't sure if that hurt more or less than the naked pride in his father's eyes. He almost felt that Fugaku Uchiha was congratulating him for a game well played, as if any moment he would emerge from the shadows and clap him on the shoulder. Perhaps he would say, "I'm proud of you, my son. You truly are the pride of the clan." Perhaps his father would finally smile and _mean_ it. _"Itachi… Promise me that you will take care of Sasuke. Don't hesitate. It's the path you chose. Our pain will only last an instant, unlike yours… The way we think is different, but I'm still proud of you."_ He heard the words that he did not say: _It is not for me that I grieve._

But nothing, absolutely nothing cut deeper than the fear in Sasuke's young face, all traces of innocence robbed forever. Fugaku and Mikoto Uchiha had known, to some degree. They had considered the possibility that he might have to do something as drastic as eliminate the Uchiha Clan, but not a soul had prepared Sasuke for that possibility. The poor boy had simply come home late from training to find everyone dead. He'd stumbled upon the slaughtered corpses of their parents, and nearly pissed himself when he realized that the man who had killed them was still in the room. Worse yet was the shock and hurt that ghosted across his features when he realized just who it was. It had killed Itachi's soul a piece at a time to cast the genjutsu on his little brother to provide a terrible lie about how their parents had perished. It had hurt him worse to tell Sasuke that he was useless and pathetic and had never meant anything to him at all. And then, he felt his heart tear to shreds as Sasuke worked up the courage to throw weapons at him to avenge their parents, and though he was proud of his little brother, it hurt more than it should have that he had actually tried to kill him.

And so, on a lovely summer evening in Konoha, the pride and destruction of the mighty Uchiha Clan lay facedown in an anonymous patch of dust, shattered in ways no Shinobi could ever have caused in places invisible to the eye. Some wounds did not have to bleed to be fatal.

Time. Place. Death. Did any of it matter anymore?

* * *

Not very far away in another household, two young girls were up past their bedtime. One of them was even out of her bed. Stretched out between the bookcase, the desk, and the bed was a tangle of blankets and sheets, and beneath the blankets was a pile of cushions and pillows. Upon the pillows were two little girls, ages three and eight, and a borrowed flashlight to cast a light between them.

"I love blanket forts!" exclaimed Hinata, kneeling upon the cushions and placing a shoebox in between herself and her sister. "And you're the best little sister ever for helping me build it!"

Hanabi giggled and smiled. "So cool! We should live in here!" She threw her arms up into the air, indicating the large space beneath the blankets.

Hinata shushed her toddler sister. "Shh, silly goose. Not so loud! If Daddy finds out you snuck out of your room and into mine he'll have kittens!"

Hanabi's eyes widened with innocent curiosity. "Kittens? Really?" She loved kittens.

Hinata couldn't help but laugh. "No! It's a figure of speech."

Hanabi crooked an eyebrow and cocked her head to the side, much like a kitten herself. "What's figger the peach?"

"A _figure_ of _speech_, not _peach_. It means a thing you say that isn't _really_ true." She shook her head. Grown up words were for grown ups, and none of that truly mattered. "Nevermind. Look what I brought!" She upended the shoebox, and dozens of shiny metal and glass beads spilled out all over the floor. From her pockets, she added rolls of tangled chains, cords, strings, and ribbons.

Hanabi cried out with delight, running her fingers through all of the beads. "So pretty!"

Hinata smiled at her younger sister. She loved playing with the little girl. Every tiny detail made Hanabi smile, giggle, and laugh. She was never an upset child, always curious and playful. Sometimes, their father was extraordinarily tough on Hinata, and Hanabi was her one singular source of joy. Playtime with Hanabi made everything else worth it. "Watch, now. Let me show you what to do." She cut a piece of dark purple ribbon with safety scissors. They were so dull that it took several tries, and the ribbon was frayed but serviceable as a result. Then, with her tongue stuck out in concentration, she poked the end of the ribbon through a pearly colored white bead. She smiled, satisfied with her handiwork. "There. See?" She held up the ribbon, where the bead held fast.

Hanabi's eyes widened with realization. "Ohhh! I wanna try!" Hinata cut off a piece of black ribbon, and both girls happily started beading projects. Before long, a pile had grown between them of necklaces, bracelets, and random unfinished strings where the girls had wanted to do something new before they were finished.

"All of yours are so pretty!" Hinata exclaimed, inspecting her sister's projects. Each of the girls had very different tastes. Hinata was favoring floral colors: pink, yellow, purple, red, and white. Hanabi was inclined toward dark or earthy colors: black, brown, green, blue, orange. Both Hyuuga daughters were delighted with their creations and admired the other's, and by the end of it, they dissolved in fits of giggles as they tried to wear them all. Finally, Hinata went hunting through all of her treasures and held a necklace aloft. It was a black cord decorated with beautiful purple and blue and white glass beads. "I like this one best, so I'm going to give it to Mommy!"

"Oh, then I want to give one to Father!" Hanabi exclaimed, digging through her pile, too. It took her much longer to find what she considered her favorite. To her young mind, this was a very serious decision, and she wanted to be sure it was her absolute best. She laid out a few options side by side so she could see, her face a darling frown as she concentrated. She removed them from the line up one by one until she was left with the ultimate necklace. "I like this one the best!"

"Excellent choice, Hanabi!" Hinata congratulated her. "Tomorrow we'll give them to Mommy and Daddy!"

They smiled at each other and hugged tight, happy with their jewelry and their choices. Then, as she was wont to do, Hinata dug into Hanabi's sides with her fingertips and started tickling. The little girl squealed and howled with laugher, unable to contain herself. "Hinata! Stop it! Stop! It's too funny!"

Hinata replied by giggling and shrieking and yelling "Tickle tickle tickle!" The poor victimized Hanabi tried desperately to protect herself from the Tickle Monster and made a feeble attempt at tickling back.

And suddenly the door creaked open and the light clicked on. Hinata immediately ceased the tickling, the suddenness of which made Hanabi drop to the ground with an unceremonious thud and a comical "oomph!" Then, she tossed a pillow over the pile of beads to hide the surprise. The flap of the blanket fort flung aside, revealing the displeased look of their father, Hiashi Hyuuga. "Blankets and pillows are for sleeping, not hiding," he scolded. "Take this down at once," he said, looking at Hinata.

She lowered her eyes with respect and hastened a response. "Yes, Father."

He turned his gaze to the younger daughter, and his gaze softened somewhat. "And Hanabi, back to bed. You should have been asleep hours ago."

She grinned, unaccustomed to being scolded and not sure how to react. Nothing ever seemed to bother her. "Yes, Father!" she answered enthusiastically, clutching the necklace in the folds of her dressing gown and scrambling out of their fort.

"Oh, and Hanabi," he added, "tomorrow we're going to begin your training. I'll see you in the morning."

"Yes, Father!" She danced and skipped down the hall to her own room, and Hinata heard the door shut behind her.

Hinata's heart fell. She had not started her own training until she was five years old, and she already hated every minute of it. Her father was very strict and pushed her to her limits on a daily basis. She much preferred to play with her sister than spar with her father. What really bothered her, though, was thinking about her sister enduring their father's harsh tutelage. She never wanted to see Hanabi upset. The little girl's resilient happiness was Hinata's favorite thing in the whole world.

Satisfied that Hanabi was in bed, Hiashi made his retreat. "Tear down these blankets and get back into bed. I'll see you in the morning, too."

She hesitated, too many thoughts assaulting her at once, before she murmured, "Yes, Father," and began tearing down their blanket fort. If she was also training in the morning, it probably meant that neither of them was going to like the training. She was already dreading morning.

Were she older, she probably would have been unable to sleep for concern. She was only eight, though. With the exhaustion of playing with Hanabi coupled to the boredom of lying alone in bed, Hinata was soon asleep.

Hanabi woke still clutching her favorite necklace. She was more than happy to see it again, and waved it in front of her face, enjoying the way the sunlight glinted off the pieces on the cord. "Pretty!" she exclaimed, admiring her work.

A knock sounded on the wood of her door. Hastily, she hid the necklace, not wanting to spoil the surprise. "Who is it?" she called. Her father was very strict when it came to manners and protocol. He always knocked, and she was always to ask who was at the door. She was never to just say, "come in," just so as to make sure that her visitor was friendly.

"It's your father," Hiashi called from the outside. "Dress yourself and meet us in the dining room for breakfast."

"Yes Father!" she answered automatically. She was enthusiastic for her first day of training. Hinata didn't seem to like training very much, but after observing that her and her sister enjoyed different colors, and knowing things like that Hinata liked flowers while she liked bugs, she figured it was only because Hinata didn't like training because she just didn't enjoy it. Perhaps she would enjoy it. After all, her father seemed to enjoy his training, and she had heard lots of stories about heroic Shinobi. She wanted to be a ninja, she was sure of it.

Humming a song to herself that had absolutely no melody, she dressed in comfortable clothes and tucked her favorite necklace into a secret pocket on the inside of her shirt. "Yay it's training time!" she sang to herself. "Off to breakfast I go! Future ninja coming through!"

She climbed up into her chair at the table where Hinata was forlornly poking at her toast, one lip stuck out in defiance of the toasted bread. Hinata did not like toast. "Eat your toast, Hinata. It has carbohydrates that are good for stamina," Hiashi informed her patiently.

"I hate toast," she muttered.

"You must never say things like that at the table. It's rude," he scolded.

Hanabi stared at her breakfast. There was oatmeal, toast, and a glass of milk. All in all, not half as exciting as banana pancakes and orange juice. She wrinkled her nose. "Where my pancakes at?" she pouted.

"Where are my pancakes, not where my pancakes at," Hiashi corrected. "You're training to be a ninja, now, my daughter. That means you need to feed your body right." He closed his eyes as he sawed through a sausage.

"My body like pancakes," she said stubbornly, crossing her arms. "With nanner-banners." She pouted, the spitting image of her elder sister.

"You can have pancakes when you are not in training. For today you will eat what is there."

"But—" She wilted when Hiashi gave her _that look_. That was the authority glare that you just did not argue with. "Fiiiiine," she relented, stabbing a spoon into her oatmeal.

"I knew you'd agree," Hiashi said, bemused. "Hinata, eat your toast."

The three of them wore different expressions as they arrived at the dojo. Hanabi was barely able to contain her glee. She had eaten the dreaded oatmeal and toast, and though she had long ago decided she hated milk, she had braved that as well, with the logic that it might just be a magical potion in disguise. The moment she had waited for was here! She was going to take that first doddering step toward becoming a fierce and mighty ninja. Hinata's face was glum and troubled. There was never a day of training with her father that she left feeling better about herself and happy. Training days were days to dread, and she already knew that she was going to feel like a failure before the day was over. Hiashi's face was set in a determined line. Training days were very important to him because he was furthering the progress of his noble daughters on their paths to becoming great Shinobi, ones that would bring honor to their household. This was something he took great pride in doing, but there was no joy or sorrow for him here, just hard work.

"Alright, Hanabi, Hinata," Hiashi began. "This is Hanabi's first day of ninja training. What I want to do for today is just a short exercise. I want you two to fight each other so I can get see where her affinities are, and on which target areas we should focus."

Hinata nodded. "Yes, Father," she replied, resigned. This was not something she had looked forward to, but she had guessed it would happen eventually. Since she and her sister were relatively close in age, they would be good practice partners for the whole of their lives.

Hanabi had never even guessed that this was ever an option. Her eyes were wide with horror. "I will _not_ fight Hinata! I love her!" She turned pleading looks from her father to her sister and back again. Hinata, for her part, was already in position, ready to face off.

Her father had anticipated the resistance. "If you love your sister, then this will help her. If you fight each other, you can help each other to become stronger so you can both protect each other." Hinata nodded to her sister to let her know that it was all right. Her father was correct on this point.

Hanabi was not convinced. "Mommy says that if you love someone, you don't hit them." She stomped her little foot, put her hands on her tiny hips and thrust her bottom lip out in the mother of all pouts.

Hiashi was disappointed. "Hanabi, ninja fight each other all the time. I thought you were strong enough to be a ninja? If you don't fight with Hinata, I will be very ashamed."

Her eyes welled with tears. She looked again between her sister and her father. Both of them wanted her to fight Hinata. Just last night, her elder sister and she had giggled and tickled together and made the most beautiful necklaces, and now today they wanted her to punch her best friend in the face? It was too much for her. The tears spilled over, and she dashed out the door and ran.

* * *

A/N: Go easy on my toddler writing. It's been a long time since I have been three years old. The thing working in my favor here, though, is that our beloved author Kishimoto has really pushed back how far a person becomes a ninja (six years old? Really?!) which means I can safely assume that Shinobi children mature a lot faster than normal children. Anyway. My story and I can assume what I wanna.

Did you ever build blanket forts as a kid? Weren't they just THE BEST! You ought to comment and tell me about them. ^_^


	4. The Color of One's Eyes

Chapter Three: The Color of One's Eyes

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Timeline: t=0+1 (one day after the Massacre)

* * *

Hot tears poured down her face as she dashed out of one of the smaller gates of the Hyuuga grounds, crossed the short distance between that gate and the wall of Konoha, and squeezed out of the vicinity through an overlooked crack in the wall. As soon as she wriggled free of the crumbling stone, she pealed off into the woods, blind to any danger whatsoever, only concerned with the painful situation at home.

_How can they ask me to hit Hinata? _Her young mind wondered. It was a foreign concept to the toddler. Her elder sister was her light in life. She loved Hinata with all of her tiny little heart. Her sister was good, kind, and gentle. Now that she had been in the room with her sister and her father during training, she had trouble connecting the concept of being a Shinobi with Hinata at all, and it made her very frustrated and confused. _It's not fair!_ Her mind screamed. _It's not fair that we need to fight each other when we're such good friends!_

Trees blurred past through a foggy haze of tears. Birds scattered, undisturbed for years as the tiny Hyuuga crashed through the trees like a maniac, howling like she'd been wounded. To her, she had been wounded. Life had been so much simpler yesterday. She'd never had a care in the world beyond what she should play next with Hinata. It had been flowers, dolls, beads, and blanket forts. Sometimes, Hinata would read her stories of brave and mighty ninja who had saved the world and protected princesses.

_I won't do it! I just won't! I will run away from home and then Father will be sorry and Hinata… Hinata… she will…_ Suddenly, Hanabi stopped running, realizing something important. If she ran away from home, she'd never get to play with Hinata ever again. She stood still, pouting, torn between the two decisions. If she went back, her father would make her hit Hinata again. He'd be disappointed because she couldn't do it, and Hinata would have that look on her face like she didn't want to get hit either but knew she had to. If she ran away from home, she could do whatever she wanted, and she'd never have to hit her sister. But there would be no banana pancakes or flowers, nor blanket forts or necklaces.

That reminded her. She pulled the necklace out of her pocket and stared at it. She had intended to give it to her father, but now she didn't think he even deserved it. She glared at it, squeezing it tight in her fist, and raised it high as if to throw it. It made her so angry to think that her father could be so mean! But then, she lowered her balled up little fist, and stared at it again. She had really enjoyed making that necklace with Hinata, and now that she looked at it again, she remembered why she had liked it so much. She changed her mind and decided to give it to Hinata, and tucked it back into her pocket.

Thinking of Hinata had calmed her anger, so she decided she ought to go home. She looked around, trying to remember from which direction she had come. There were trees. She swung her head from side to side, trying to make sense of navigation. There were more trees. The sun was high in the sky by now, with no indication of east or west, even had she known how to gauge such a thing. There were trees, and trees, and trees. Panic rose in her heart like a finger of dread. She started walking just because she knew she had to or risk being lost forever. No one would think to look for her out here past the walls of Konoha.

She wrapped one hand around the necklace in her pocket. The other hand she placed gently over her fluttering heart, trying to calm her nerves. At three years old, she wasn't keen on directions or strategies that might get her discovered. Her mind comprehended two things: she needed to go home, and she was very scared she might never make it. She did manage to remain brave enough not to cry, though.

She zigged and zagged, unsure of any better way to attempt to find the Leaf Village. She locked her eyes on anything that looked out of the ordinary in the sea of trees. Here there was a lightning-struck tree, there was a large rock, and over in that direction was a larger clearing than usual. She kept moving, lest she just stand there freaking out. Little did she know, she was actually headed further and further away from the Leaf Village.

And nearer and nearer to its newest criminal.

She didn't see him until she had nearly tripped on him. At first she had thought he might be a weird, greyish purple log, and so she steered her course toward his form lying on the ground. It wasn't until she was practically standing over him that she realized it was a person. She squeaked out a frightened _eep_ and took an involuntary step backward, one hand still clutching her frantic heart while the other stayed wrapped around the necklace in her pocket like a worry stone. She stared, rooted to the spot, waiting for any signs of life. He didn't seem to be moving. His breathing was shallow enough that she didn't really notice it at all. He was much bigger than she was, and that made her a bit nervous. What if he wasn't friendly?

Everything she had been taught in the Hyuuga household told her that she should not try to talk to this person. She was taught never to speak to strangers unless her father was present. She was taught never to trust a stranger under any circumstances. She definitely was not supposed to go near him alone. And yet, she was so frightened that she might never get to see her sister Hinata ever again that she took a blind leap of faith and disobeyed her father. "Um, hello?" she asked uncertainly, her voice sounding small even to herself. He didn't move. She crouched down beside him, eyes wide and scared, and poked him with her necklace hand, leaving her treasure safe in its pocket. "Hello? Hello there?" He began to stir but didn't wake. She heard a soft groan, so she poked him even harder, more incessantly. "Hello? Are you okay?"

He groaned and turned his head to the side. Hanabi liked his face immediately. She knew just by looking at him that he was older than her sister but younger than her father, but he couldn't have been that old. He had lines running down his cheeks that made him look a little like a deer. She loved deer. She saw pictures of them in stories and always wanted to ride one or pet it or have it as a pet or all of those things. Then, slowly, he opened his eyes. They were black, just like a deer's were, but that wasn't what made all of her fears run away.

His eyes were full of pain and sadness.

Hanabi had been a child of pure joy, but since she was the youngest member of a huge household filled with so many people, she was always looking up at people and watching. Hinata seemed more important than her, so she was often overlooked. She didn't always talk so much. She listened more, and when she listened, she saw things in eyes and in habits, and heard undercurrents in tones that told her that something else was going on. She knew instinctively that when someone snapped at her, it wasn't because she had done something wrong. She knew when her sister was distracted when they were playing, it was not because they weren't having a good time. It was a skill that would probably develop into a major social asset as she grew older, but for now it was enough that she could recognize such things. This man she had found was intensely sad, and she knew just what to do. "Are you okay?" she asked again.

The black eyes widened with surprise and he gasped softly. He quickly rolled up to his elbow, eyes darting fretfully to and fro, looking for an escape. Itachi was wondering if anyone was with her. If he was about to be captured, he was going to put up one hell of a fight first. How long had he been asleep?

She laid one hand gently on his arm, but he batted it away and scrambled backward. She tried to smile at him. "It's okay, see? It's just me. You don't have to be scared anymore."

His eyes trained back on her, and she felt like they saw through her. Then, his expression calmed, and the weirdest thing happened. His black eyes swirled and twisted in his sockets and turned red. She cocked her head to the side and watched, fascinated by the change of events and the pretty color.

Itachi was about to put her in a crippling genjutsu to make a hasty retreat, but her innocent, child's curiosity stopped him. He hesitated, frozen to the spot, heart pounding, simultaneously searching for an escape and locking his gaze on that bright, happy smile. Unlike with Sasuke, he found he was not even able to show her any illusions about pain and death, or any scary images whatsoever. She couldn't have been more than three years old, much younger than Sasuke, and had probably never had a true care in the world besides playtime and sunshine. What was more, she was completely alone, and he had no idea where they were. Casting one last, thorough look over the surroundings to be sure that no one was there, he relaxed and deactivated his Sharingan.

"You have very pretty eyes," the little girl said cheerily. "I like that they change like that. My daddy has eyes that change like that. Well, not really. They go all…" she scrunched up her eyes and did her best impression of a glare. She didn't seem to realize that it also made a couple of tiny veins around her own eyes swell up just a little with her own chakra.

He quirked an eyebrow, realizing whom this little girl must be. If he were a betting kind of man, he'd bet anything that this was the youngest Hyuuga of the Main Family, Hanabi. Next to the Uchiha, the Hyuuga had been Konoha's most powerful clan. He changed the subject. Some things were more important than the color of one's eyes. "Where are we?" he asked her.

She sat on the grass cross-legged and wrapped her fingers around her legs. "I have absolutely no idea!" she exclaimed with too much candor. "But you're a grown up, or at least I think so, so you will know where we are and how to go home." She stared up at him expectantly, waiting for him to know what to do.

Home. The word struck a chord in his soul, and he suddenly remembered with sharp clarity all of the events of the previous evening. He hung his head in shame, but he was still a Shinobi, if a rogue one wanted for mass murder, and he was not about to let all of his emotions show on the immediate surface. He met her eyes again, all sadness erased from his expression. "Do you know how long it took you to get here?" he asked gently. If he knew that, he could probably calculate the distance she had traveled and backtrack…

"Umm…" The little girl's eyes rolled skyward and her lips twisted as she thought about it. She was feeling much more optimistic about her situation now. An adult was here, she thought, so he would make everything better. That was how she understood the world to operate: the adults knew everything there was to know. There was no way he would be confused about how to get her home. At the very least, she needed to believe that this was true so she did not panic. Hope was a tangible thing to a child. Unfortunately, she had not yet developed any sense of time. "Five minutes," she said with a smile.

His lips quirked, threatening to smile. He remembered a time when Sasuke could not tell time, either. Their mother used to tell Sasuke that he had five minutes to finish whatever he was doing, but then twenty minutes later, she'd bother him again. "It hasn't been five minutes yet, Mom!" Sasuke would pout. To Sasuke, there was no block of time that was ever longer than five minutes. Unfortunately, that meant that he had no idea how far he had run or how far Hanabi was from home. No matter. This could easily be solved. "Wait here," he said to her, smiling to reassure her.

"Okay!" she said instantly, not at all perturbed. Her complete faith in him was unsettling. She shouldn't trust him, he thought.

Itachi leapt up into the trees, pushing off branch after branch until he was perched on the very top of the tree. The branches up here were sparse and fragile, but if he kept his center of gravity based over the very middle of the trunk, he would not be in any danger. Besides, he was a ninja. If he fell, he'd be able to stop the descent without any effort at all by grasping branches with chakra. He steadied himself in the treetops and gazed across the land in all directions.

Konoha, it turns out, was not that far away. Judging by the distance, he estimated it to be about a half mile from where they were now. Satisfied, he dropped out of the trees, landing on his toes gracefully in front of the tiny Hyuuga.

Having spent a moment away from her, he could now appraise her with fresh, unpanicked eyes. She gazed up at him with pure, blind faith, and he felt his heart glaze over with warmth. Itachi had always been a gentle soul, but he had a secret Achilles' Heel for children. Staring into her oblivious and hopeful eyes, suddenly all of his Shinobi training to ignore emotions and be ready to kill at a moment's notice vanished entirely. He held out his arms in the universal signal for "hug me" and gave her his most winning smile, a smile that he hadn't use since he was about her age. His father and the Shinobi who had been his superiors cared little for smiles.

Any child recognizes that signal. Hanabi surely did. She leapt right into his arms. Something about this soft-featured young man had also made her ignore all of her education to avoid strangers. For her, it had all come through his eyes. He had deeply sad eyes, and she knew instinctively that he needed her just as much as she needed him. She hugged him fiercely and whispered into his ear, "Don't be sad. Everything will be okay."

His eyes widened at the sound. How had she managed to see right through him? He pulled her gently away from his body and stared right into her eyes. Something needed to be cleared right away. He didn't want to ruin this poor child's life, after all. He tried to let all of his darkness surface to his features. If she could see his sadness, she'd see that, too. He didn't want her to inadvertently love him if it meant she'd get hurt in the process. He grasped her shoulders gently and delved into her eyes without the Sharingan. "Look into my eyes, child. Do you know who I am?"

Her wide, pale eyes stared into his dark ones, trying to do as she was told. She stared and stared into the depths of his black eyes. "I don't know who you are. I'm Hanabi. What's your name?" Her heart fluttered a little at the intensity of his stare. She saw the darkness, but it didn't tell her his name, and didn't change the softness and the warmth of his hug. It was a very good hug.

He sighed and shut his eyes. This was not going to be fair to her. He understood that someday, he would probably hurt her, but knew already that he needed this contact. Some contact. Any contact. He would give anything to have someone in his life that could know him for who he was and not what he had done. If there was just one person that he could talk to, who could see who he truly was without knowing his name or his reputation, perhaps he could one day find the peace he had yearned for. He felt such an urgent need to know this little girl that his heart ached. He could never know this kind of bond with Sasuke ever again, but perhaps…

No, he couldn't think that way. All he could give to this girl was pain. Best to get her home and forget this encounter had ever happened. "It's not important," he said, crinkling his face into a smile meant to reassure her.

Hanabi, however, was not to be swayed. She saw the change in his expression when he meant to rid himself of her. "Father says it's rude not to give your name when you're asked," she said, proud of herself for sounding firm. "I'm Hanabi. And you are…?"

He sighed. It was exactly like dealing with Sasuke, after all. She was not going to let up until she had gotten her way. What name to give her, then? "Fine. You can call me Koinu. Nice to meet you, Hanabi."

She smiled, pleased with herself. "Pleasure to make your acquaintance, Koinu." She held out her hand to shake, a parody of the people five times her size that she had seen do it.

He raised an eyebrow, but he shook her tiny little hand. The whole hand fit almost entirely in his palm. Introductions aside, it was time to get the little girl home safely. "Alright, Hanabi. I know where your house is. Ready?"

"Hmmm…" she hummed cheekily. "I don't think I want to go home just yet." Suddenly she remembered why she ran off in the first place. She frowned. "My family was really weird today." She toed the dirt at her feet, her eyes locked onto the tiny piles of sand she was making. Now that she was actually enjoying herself and wasn't lost, she wanted to make it last. She waited, her ears pricked, waiting for him to agree.

Itachi was lost.

* * *

**A/N:** So I run into this all the time… the spelling of Hyuuga. I just tried to read up on the correct way to spell Hyuga, and there are three: Hyuuga, Hyuga, and Hyuga with the bar over the 'u.' If you've read my other stories, you'll see that I've used both Hyuga and Hyuuga because I'm so flippin' confused. I think from now on I will just stick to Hyuuga, since that is the one I've seen in subtitles the most. If you disagree, too damned bad. There are much better things to worry about in the world than whether or not I need to use one less letter 'u.'


	5. A Child's Gift

Chapter Four: A Child's Gift

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Timeline: t=0+1 (one day after the massacre)

* * *

Itachi looked uncertainly between the resistant toddler and the trees in the opposite direction of the village. He really needed to be gone. On the other hand… there were some things in the village he probably should do before he left. He had failed to eliminate every single member of his clan, and some accommodations would need to be made for the massacre's sole survivor. Yes, in fact, there were a few people he needed to talk to first. He supposed a leavetaking could wait. It took a second before the impatience in his feet had calmed enough to match the insolence of his mind, but finally they did, and he relaxed. He smiled at the girl who was suddenly reluctant to go back home. "Do you want to talk about it?"

She shook her head, pouting. She didn't really want to talk about it. It made her extraordinarily uncomfortable to imagine that her sister was willing to hit her to make her father happy. Furthermore, it scared her that being a ninja might mean hitting other people that she liked. She didn't really like her father right now. It was his fault she'd been introduced to the scary ninja world.

"Okay," he said simply, knowing what would come next. He'd had these types of conversations before with children, specifically Sasuke. His little brother had always wanted to talk. It was just that he was too stubborn to give information when it was wanted of him. He waited.

He didn't have to wait long. "Well," she offered, "it's just that I started training to be a ninja today…" She dragged the sentence out, peeking at him out of the corner of her eye, testing to see if he was actually interested or just humoring her.

So young? Itachi had begun training at an obscenely early age as well, but that was usually rare, even in the Leaf Village. Most parents preferred to let their children experience a real childhood first, to enjoy playtime and dreams before having to be exposed to the harsh reality of being born into the Shinobi world. Most parents believed that childhood was an important part in the development of a well-rounded human being. Itachi's parents were more concerned with creating a weaponized, brainwashed machine by which they could achieve their goals. They were crafting Itachi into the perfect ninja, one who could help lead them into a new age where the Uchiha clan reigned supreme above all others. They had hoped not to let him experience naivete, or hope, or enough moral fiber to understand that seizing control of the village was wrong. They'd made one major mistake in their quest for domination, though...

...they'd went and had another son.

Sasuke had changed Itachi as a person. Until the birth of his little brother, Itachi had been more than happy to indulge his parents and do everything he was told, a dutiful son. But, once he'd held his little brother in his arms, he'd been smitten. Once he'd soothed the boy's cries while the Leaf Village was under attack, patched a torn elbow when he'd fallen, played hide and seek, hugged him when he was sad, watched him in secret as he struggled to gain the attention of their parents… once Itachi had become an older brother, nothing else had mattered but that Sasuke should be his best friend. He needed to protect his little brother, and he'd rebelled against his parents, only just enough. He'd given them enough satisfaction with his progress to keep them from complaining, but he'd been so successful that they were a little fearful, as well. Absolutely nothing was going to stand between him and his little brother. If anything at all threatened Sasuke's well being, they were going to find out what being an older brother truly meant to Itachi Uchiha.

That reminded him, though, that Hanabi had an older sister as well. Older, not younger. Why was Hiashi Hyuuga starting so early on this one? He was sure that the older one—Hinata, he remembered—had only started training within the past few years herself. She must have been around Sasuke's age, in fact. "So you're training to become a ninja," he murmured. "That's _good_ news." He laid a hand gently on her shoulder to show support. The path to becoming a Shinobi was important to any Leaf Village child, even if he himself was disillusioned to its perils. Most kids were excited to start training, and were so impatient to be about it that playtime involved fantasies about being jonin and hunting enemies.

She beamed for an instant, but quickly grew morose again. "I thought so, too, but… Father wants me to fight my own sister." Her eyebrows drew tight together, and her lip quivered. It was clear how she felt about _that_.

Itachi feared she might cry. On a visceral level, he _needed_ that not to happen. He drew her in for another hug and stroked her hair. He guessed at the reason she was upset, and he guessed that that must be the difference between sisters and brothers. "You don't want to hurt your sister," he stated. She nodded but said nothing. To him, it made perfect sense. Whereas he and Sasuke had a pseudo rivalry going—to be fair, Sasuke was never going to catch up to him at that age—in which Sasuke would occasionally challenge him to test his own abilities, girls were much more sensitive. Boys didn't like to share feelings; they mostly guessed at each other's feelings and swaggered and bragged to show that they were feeling confidence. Expressing doubt or concern was considered a sign of weakness. Girls, on the other hand, usually shared all of their feelings with each other, especially between sisters who were close friends as well. Hanabi was incorrectly assuming that if she sparred with Hinata that Hinata would interpret that as a severance of their close relationship. She really just couldn't bring herself to do that to a friend.

To his great relief, she didn't cry at all. The tears collected, but they did not fall. He pulled her out of the hug and stared into her eyes. This, at least, was something he could help with. "Hanabi, listen to me, okay?"

"Okay," she answered tremulously. She needed this advice. There was nothing in her life more confusing than what had happened to her today. If this guy could help her, she would adore him forever.

Itachi took a deep breath to steady his nerves and continue. This was a sensitive topic for him as well. He was never going to get to enjoy his brother the way he had in the past; they would be forever estranged now. Likely, Sasuke would try to kill him several times in the future. Discussing the bond between siblings was going to hurt, but Hanabi needed to hear this. "There is absolutely not a thing in the world you can do to make your sister hate you. The bond between siblings never weakens, no matter what. It might seem at times that you hate her, or that she hates you, but that will never ever be true. I have no doubt in my mind that she is scared for you right now because you ran away and she doesn't know where you are. I am sure she loves you." He paused to let her consider that. "Do you love your sister?"

Hanabi's eyes had grown wide as she absorbed all the information. Of course she loved Hinata! "Yes!" she answered readily. "She's the bestest sister in the world!"

He had to try hard not to smile so he could appear serious to this girl. "Okay. You need to fight with her when you are training so you can both be strong enough to protect each other. You don't want your sister to get hurt, do you?"

Hanabi squirmed a little, uncomfortable with the thought. "No, I don't want Hinata to get hurt."

"And you can't fight with enemies, because right now you don't have anyone who hates you enough to fight, right?" He knew he had her now.

"I don't _think_ anyone hates me," she said uncertainly. _He_ certainly doubted that anyone hated this girl.

"Alright. So your sister is the only one who can fight with you right now. She doesn't want you to get hurt either because she loves you. So, you need to fight each other to make each other strong so you can be a good little sister and help keep her safe, okay?" He finished with a smile, driving his point home as being a good thing.

She seemed to be getting it. She stared for a long time at his face again, trying to decipher if he was trustworthy or not. Whatever she saw there convinced her. "Okay. I will help Hinata get stronger." She nodded slowly, accepting his advice. After a moment though, she lowered her eyes again, hesitating. "Koinu, can I ask you a question?"

He, too, hesitated, uncertain. If he granted her the request to ask him a question, he couldn't rightly deny her the answer. But, if she asked a pointed question about a sensitive topic, he didn't feel he was able to answer that, either. He ran through all the things in his mind that they had talked about. None of it seemed dangerous. She couldn't possibly know about what had happened in the Uchiha neighborhood, could she? He deemed it safe to risk. "Sure."

"How do you know so much about me and my sister?" She hurriedly explained. "I mean, it almost sounds as if you know my sister and me." She gazed into his eyes, trying to find the answer.

He thought about it. Surely, this couldn't be too much to divulge. "I have a little brother," he told her. "All older siblings love their little brothers and sisters." But not every older brother slaughters his parents, he thought. Not every older brother takes away your childhood, family, and happiness in the space of a single night. Not every older brother leaves you helpless and unconscious on a dark and bloody street. Darkness swirled, threatening to consume him.

His troubled thoughts were interrupted by the sweet, lost little girl again. "Can I ask you another question?" He nodded, feeling himself unable to speak right at that moment. "Why does your little brother make your eyes go all sad?" She cocked her head to one side, truly curious.

He looked away. Her ability to read his mood was making him self-conscious. No one in the world had ever read him so well, except for perhaps Amiko.

_Amiko… _Another painful memory best suppressed.

"Someone took my little brother away from me," he told her quietly. _Me,_ he thought. "I can't ever see him again." He figured that was a simple enough answer_. It might seem at times that you hate her, or that she hates you, but that will never ever be true. _He had told Sasuke much the same thing. Would he figure out the truth on his own?

"Why?" she persisted.

Would she never stop with these questions? He chose not to answer this one. He gave her the answer to a different question instead. "Whatever you do in your life, Hanabi, don't ever forget that your sister loves you." _Will you forget, Sasuke? Will you remember nothing but the hatred I told you to nurture? _

She smiled and nodded. "I wouldn't."

Alright, enough dawdling. He held out his hand, which she readily grasped. Then, they started the short trek back to the Village. They walked; he walked slowly, his longer legs carrying him a longer distance with fewer strides, while she scrambled with her much shorter legs, nearly jogging and flouncing to keep up. He found it more and more difficult to contain his smile. So many things about this youngster reminded him of Sasuke that it was unreal. He was glad to have met her, even if he knew he should never see her again. His presence in her life was unthinkable. In a few years, she would have forgotten all about this encounter and be better for it.

He told himself that.

"Koinu?" she prompted, breaking the silence. She didn't look at him; her eyes were too focused on not tripping over things on the ground at this relatively breakneck pace.

"Hn?" He regarded her out of the corner of his eye, amused at the way she was so focused on the ground in front of her feet.

"Do you miss your little brother?"

His heart clenched sharply just at the question. The memory was too fresh, the pain too new. "Yes," he answered, his chest tight.

"Why don't you go get him back from whoever took him?" She stole a peek at him, but although she wanted to watch his face as he answered, she was having too much trouble keeping up with his long legs. She gripped his hand tighter, hoping that his strength would protect her from any peril that her legs might visit upon her.

Itachi didn't answer her. How could he tell her that it was his own fault that he and Sasuke could not be together anymore? He couldn't.

She ignored his inner turmoil, and continued. "If someone took me away from Hinata, I think I would want her to come and find me. Otherwise I might think she didn't love me and didn't miss me."

Her words stung. They were true words, even if thinking them didn't change anything. "Some day he will understand," he said to himself.

"Hm?"

He realized he'd mistakenly spoken out loud. "Nothing. What I mean to say is that I can't."

"Why not?"

He felt proud of this small victory, and lips twitched with the hint of a smile. "He and I didn't practice enough when we were younger, so I'm not strong enough to go save him."

The silence that stretched between them then was comical. He knew he'd just planted the seed of strength within this little girl. Her expression had gone feral. "No one will ever take my sister away from me," she hissed fiercely. "I will not let them, and if they take her, I will kill them."

He blinked. Had she really just said that? The toddler hanging off his arm had just uttered the word 'kill.' He had to admit he was impressed. She was feistier than he could have imagined at her tender age. Someday, she would be a truly strong Shinobi. He hoped he lived long enough to see that, even if he was on the other side of the drawn line. He squeezed her little hand affectionately. She squeezed back and grinned at him.

They walked the rest of the way in silence. Her presence was keeping him calm. Without her there, he most certainly would be breaking down with madness right now, stressing about his current situation, fretting about Sasuke's safety, and miserable about the death of his parents. Instead, he was enjoying the tuneless melody that Hanabi was humming, mildly worried about her life after he dropped her off, and soothed by the little bubble of joy that seemed to envelop her wherever she went. He was actually numb with calm just by being near her. It was beautiful.

Before too long, they were within walking distance of the wall. Itachi chose to stay among the shadows of the trees. He shooed her toward the wall, noting the crack that she had crawled through to leave the village. He waved with his hand for her to leave him and go through the crack, but to his surprise, she resisted.

Her eyes were wide with an unreasonable fear, so he asked her about it. "Will I ever see you again, Koinu?" she asked, suddenly sad.

His heart swelled with a feeling he was not expecting: love. She made him feel needed and appreciated, which wasn't exactly something he could afford right now. Nonetheless, he knew that he should not—could not—ever meet with Hanabi Hyuuga again. It was undoubtedly a bad idea no matter which way he looked at it. Still, her fearful, tragic eyes made him lie anyway, even though he didn't like to lie. "Of course!" he exclaimed with a smile and a gentle pat on the head. "I'll come see you soon!"

Her pale, fearful face split into a wide grin. He felt guilty that he had abolished all of her fears with a lie. He would not be back. He felt even worse as she threw her arms around his knees and pressed her face into his stomach. "I'll miss you, Koinu. Thanks!"

The pain around his heart melted at the contact. There was a soft, secret smile on his face before he even realized it was there. For the first time in the past several months, he felt completely at peace. Not good. "I'll miss you too, Hanabi," he told her. And to his great concern, he meant it, too. "Be a good girl, okay?"

"'Kay!" She broke away and ran to the crack in the wall. She had one leg into it when she stopped. She looked back at the man who had saved her from being lost in the woods. It was the first time she had really known a stranger, and she didn't think it was all that bad. His sad, black eyes that turned a strange red and his warm, soft body had made her want to give him an infinite number of hugs. She liked him for reasons she couldn't quite name, except that he made her feel… safe.

It was in that moment that she made a snap decision. She carefully extracted her leg from the crack in the wall to the village and ran back across the space between them. The look on Koinu's face was surprised and worried. Why worried? She pulled the necklace out of her pocket that she had intended to give to her father and held it aloft in both hands. "Here," she said shyly, hoping he'd like it.

"What's this?" he asked as he took it. He observed it in his hands. It was a thin, black cord linking together three silver rings that were suspiciously shaped like eyes. How appropriate.

"I made it!" she exclaimed proudly. "It's a necklace! Hinata told me that I should pick my favorite one and give it to someone special. I want you to have it, so you won't ever forget me." She beamed with pride. She watched his face as he considered the present, and she knew she'd done something good. If she had given it to her father, he probably would have smiled and thanked her and then put it in a box somewhere. Koinu's face as he realized she had given him a special present was appreciative. He would give the necklace a good home.

"Are these eyes?" he asked, pointing.

She peered at the shapes in his hand, and he watched her face as she tried to explain her masterpiece. "Mmyeah!" she agreed. He understood from her tone that she hadn't cared what they were… she just thought they were pretty.

He found that amusing, so he continued. "What color are they?"

She swayed, thinking. "I dunno. It doesn't matter what color eyes they are." She decided that was a good enough answer.

Didn't matter what color eyes, indeed. Itachi was floored. His heart felt so full of love he thought it would burst. He couldn't even articulate into words how big of a gesture this really was. He merely stared at the three silver shapes in his hand and the thin black line that connected them. He couldn't remember the last time he'd been given a gift for no reason before. He felt the smile on his face before he knew it, and then he clasped the cord around his neck and fastened it. He shut his eyes as he focused on tying the tiny knot on the back of his neck. When he opened them again, Hanabi was beside herself with glee. He held his arms open and invited her for another hug. She readily agreed, and leapt into his arms. Her small arms threatened to choke him as she squeezed, but he didn't care.

Then, she hurriedly kissed his cheek and, laughing, skipped away and through the crack in the wall and was gone, leaving a world bereft where before there was light.

Numb to all else, Itachi laid his fingers against one of the silver rings at his collarbone. They were cool to the touch, as he had expected, but they made him feel warm anyway. It felt strange that such a silly item as a child's handmade necklace could affect him so, but it did and he didn't care that it did. Her brightness gave him the strength he needed to face the immediate trials that he needed to confront, and her kiss would give him good luck.

* * *

**A/N**: Ah, the necklace motif. I've seen several explanations about where the mysterious piece of jewelry came from, but I figured I'd give it a new twist.

This all started as a tiny idea… I wanted an innocent, happy child to inspire someone dangerous. I can't quite remember how I settled on Itachi. I hesitate to write about Itachi at all… he's my favorite character (followed closely by Shikamaru and Kakashi) and I don't want to risk misrepresenting him.

But then, as my imagination ran wild with the tiny idea and the idea turned into a project, he was perfect for this job. Itachi needed to have something go right for him for once. This is my way to use one of my favorite characters to write (Hanabi) to honor him. LOVE HIM HANABI! MAKE HIM HAPPY! LET HIM BE AT PEACE WHEN HE—I'll shut up now.

_**Additional Note:** _Codaram (one of my favorite authors and the inspiration to write a long story) mentioned in their review that they felt Itachi should have less emotion. I'm going to take a moment out to explain my thinking here.

I don't believe Itachi is emotionless... I do believe that he hides it very well. If you go back in the anime or manga, there are moments when Itachi's facade cracks and his emotions leak. A prime example is when some of the other Uchiha came to his house to confront him regarding Shisui's death. Itachi lost his temper and ranted about clan obsession, even yelling, throwing a kunai and balling his hands into fists. In flashbacks, he smiles a lot when he's with Sasuke, too.

Besides the fact that it's really hard to write 100,000 words about a character, it's infinitely harder to do so without allowing him to show any emotion. Therefore, I've got Itachi showing his human side all throughout this story. I understand if that's not really your thing, but I would like you to give me that chance, and let yourself believe that Itachi has a squishy-centered heart in spite of everything.

After all, Itachi has always been a pacifist. Enjoy!


	6. Scary Killer Guy

Chapter 5: Scary Killer Guy

* * *

It wasn't hard to find the Hokage. Right about this time in the late morning, Hiruzen Sarutobi was looking out upon his village. It was important to him, he had said, to see the villagers go about their everyday lives. It reminded him why he was the Hokage, and what it was he had agreed to protect. This would also be an appropriate moment for Itachi's request. Still wearing his ANBU uniform—that would need to be disposed of soon, he decided—he alighted behind him on a rooftop balcony. He crouched low—it just wouldn't do to be seen at this point.

"Itachi," the third Hokage said grimly without turning around. "News has already reached me of the mission that was carried out despite my wishes. Several teams have been dispatched. They are hunting you. The rest of the village doesn't know yet. Still, it is very foolish of you to still be here." He turned slightly, regarding Itachi out of the corner of one eye.

Itachi schooled his features. It was easier now. The part of him that had feelings was adequately caged. "I've done what I thought was best to protect the Village Hidden in the Leaves," was his response. "I deeply regret that you disagree with what I have done, but I believe it was best. For the Village." One regret among many.

Sarutobi turned away, looking over the citizens of Konoha as they busied themselves with their daily chores. The moment stretched between them. Slowly, he stated his guess. "And Sasuke, I presume."

So he _did_ know of the conditions that Danzo had approached him with. Itachi was not surprised. "Yes." He bowed his head. "Still, even without that, you know that my clan would never have agreed to any of your terms. They are too angry, and too proud. Any compromise you could have come to would still only have been a temporary patch on an already hostile situation. You could give them the world, and they'd want the moon, too. Anything less would be an insult in their eyes."

The Hokage loosed a long sigh. "Yes, I am aware of that."

Itachi blinked. "Then… why?" Was the Hokage really that foolish, that he would throw his life away for a fractional chance at peace?

He chuckled humorlessly. "Itachi, I am an old man. I desire peace, even temporary peace. I hope some day you will be able to understand that, but I fear that with the path you have chosen, you will not live to be as old as I have. Still, _peace_ is a concept you _do_ understand. Any peace is worth the cost of my life to me. Besides, when I had chosen a successor to become the Sixth Hokage, I had hope that he or she would be able to make a more lasting peace with the Uchiha Clan and pick up where I had left off." He paused. "To be candid, I had hoped it would be you. There could never be a better choice to protect the village and bridge the rift between the Village and the Uchiha Clan." He lowered his voice, sad. "I am sorry that such a dream has changed. I wish you the best, Itachi Uchiha."

He felt a pang of guilt at the old man's words. He had had no idea that Hiruzen had ever considered him a candidate for Hokage. He was, after all, only thirteen. Still, he was grateful for the Hokage's faith in him. "With all due respect, I am sure that the current situation will be workable for peace." A dead Uchiha was a peaceful one, and not prone to coup d'etats.

"It is, at that," Sarutobi admitted grudgingly. "But now it is a peace without the protection of the Sharingan."

"Or the threat," Itachi countered. Sarutobi nodded, but said nothing. Itachi decided it was time to get to the point. "There is still one Sharingan left to Konoha. Danzo promised that Sasuke would be kept safe once I… left." He had a hard time saying that. He had never wanted to leave his home, particularly if it meant leaving Sasuke behind. "I beg of you, please protect Sasuke and… make sure he never learns the truth about me."

Sarutobi whipped around so sharply that his robes spun. "What?" Itachi didn't respond. He kept his head bowed, hoping beyond hope that the Hokage would heed his request. "You really want your brother to grow into a formidable Shinobi-perhaps the best we've ever seen-thinking you're the enemy? Hating you?" He paused. "Wanting to kill you?"

His voice was barely audible when he answered. The single word he spoke next was probably the most painful word he had ever uttered. "Yes." By now, his mind was made up. He'd thought about it as he had traveled here to this spot. If Itachi and Sasuke were ever to fight, Itachi could give him the final weapon of the Sharingan, rendering him nearly invincible. He had told Sasuke how to awaken the Mangekyou Sharingan, but he had already guessed that his little brother wouldn't do it. Bonds were, by now, too important to Sasuke for him to be able to kill his best friend. He already had too few people left to him. Giving Sasuke the opportunity to kill him would be his way of atoning for what he had done to the boy's childhood. The secret to the powers of their eyes were treacherous…they could only be enhanced by causing pain to the self. They were a great weapon, but they came at a ghastly price.

Some days, Itachi wished he'd been born blind instead. But then... how much would that have changed everything? Would Sasuke be kneeling here at Sarutobi's sandals, begging the same question of this man?

"I won't," Sarutobi answered. "You're a good man, Itachi Uchiha, and your little brother deserves to know you as you are." He turned back to his view of the village, signaling the end of the discussion.

Itachi wouldn't have it. He stood. "Please. I just sacrificed everything that meant anything to me for the sake of the Village. The least you could do is this one simple thing that I ask, and never speak of the lie my life is about to become. I have my reasons. Please just respect my request. Protect Sasuke, and allow me to become the criminal that the village will see, even for him. Please, Sarutobi. I am asking you to trust me and respect my wishes."

The silence stretched so long that Itachi feared he was being ignored. Then, finally, just as Itachi was about to try again, the Third's chin dipped to his chest in a barely perceptible nod. "Alright, Itachi. You have my word that Sasuke will not be told the truth about you. Now, please, be gone from this place, before you are found and killed. I hope that I am dead and gone on the day of your death."

"Thank you," Itachi whispered, grateful for the acquiescence and the compliment. He didn't waste any more time. He had one more person to meet with before he departed.

Danzo was harder to find. Despite the fact that he was more decrepit than the Third, he traveled about three times more in a single day, checking in with spies and doing some spying himself. Nothing was more important to Danzo than knowing exactly what was going on, both inside and outside Konoha, at all times. He had an extravagant network of spies, and keeping track of them all took up most of Danzo's time. Itachi had spent a lot of his own time keeping track of Danzo. Underestimating Danzo was a fatal mistake; Danzo would do anything, anything at all, if it meant protecting the Village. Worst of all, Danzo was not always correct. He would take any risk on a whim, and it made him a dangerous man. This was the reason that Itachi needed to see Danzo one more time before he took his leave of Konoha. He found him deep in the confines of Root, a secret ANBU organization for children loyal to Danzo alone. He had had to sneak past multiple guards to find him as he meandered through the maze of hallways.

"Itachi," Danzo greeted without turning to face him. "Congratulations on the success of your mission."

Itachi ignored the comment. He didn't feel the need for congratulations. He got straight to the point. "I've done as you asked. I want your word that Sasuke will be safe." He clenched his hands into fists, already on the edge. Talking to Danzo frayed his temper. This man was a worm. A vile, treacherous worm. Being near him sickened Itachi.

He sighed, as if humoring a child with a tantrum. "If Sasuke doesn't—"

"No," Itachi snarled, losing his calm. "Not 'if.' Nothing happens to Sasuke. Even if he tries to kill you. Even if he leaves the Village. Even if he disembowels your every last living relative. No matter what, Danzo. If you or anyone tries to lay a hand on Sasuke, I will find you, and I will kill you. I have paid my price. And," he lowered his voice, letting all of the menace replace the volume, "I will give all of the village's secrets to the enemy. I've been invited to join the Akatsuki. You'll know who they are soon enough. If anything happens to my little brother, I'll see to it that Konoha becomes their primary target, and I'll give them every tiny little detail they need to reduce the Leaf to ash." He let the threat hang in the air between them. The quiet was deafening.

Danzo searched his face for the truth. It was well known how deeply Itachi cared for his village. "You forget whom you are threatening, Itachi Uchiha," Danzo rumbled.

Oh, how Itachi was tired of hearing that warning. He clenched his fists even harder, struggling to maintain his calm.

Danzo continued, "I will protect your little brother, Itachi, but know this: just for that threat, if anything ever happens to you and you are killed and Sasuke becomes a threat, I will kill him myself. Until then, I will see to it that he is safe."

Itachi didn't wait any longer. It was hard enough for him to maintain his composure around Danzo. He spun on his heel and reached the end of that particular hallway in six long, swift strides before Danzo's voice stopped him one more time. "Itachi. Was it hard to say goodbye… to Amiko?"

A pang of guilt stabbed him in the heart. He didn't know if he could have been able to do what had needed to be done without her sacrifice. The pain of losing her had been just as hard to suppress as the pain of losing his parents, but he'd done it for these couple of days so that he didn't crack before he could leave Konoha. Hearing her name on the lips of this man chilled him, though. His relationship with Amiko had been entirely secret. He had known from the onset that his parents would disapprove of him being distracted, and probably even more so since he was still quite young. He and Amiko met furtively and in secret, and she was not that well known even in the Uchiha clan.

All of a sudden, he really wanted to kill this man. It had taken six strides to reach the end of this hallway. It took three to be in Danzo's face. With one hand, he gripped the front of the older man's shirt. With the other, he crushed his throat beneath his forearm. "How do you know about Amiko?" he asked, dangerously soft, his placid face belying the torrent of rage within.

Danzo's face broadened in a slow, knowing smile. "How do you think a brat like you earned the attention of a pretty woman half again your age?" He didn't need to say anything else. That was enough. All the anger at Danzo evaporated, leaving only a hollow shell where his love for Amiko had been. Like a fool, he had never suspected, not even once, that she might have been a spy. Danzo chuckled. "I see you've figured it out. Amiko Uchiha was a member of Root. She was our insurance, to make sure you were doing your duty to Konoha and not selling us out to the Uchiha."

Itachi's strength sapped, his voice hollow.. "I already gave you everything. You had to take her, too?" His chest tightened, heart pounding like a jackhammer in his ribs. He couldn't handle losing the memory of Amiko. She had been the rock that had gotten him through his time as a double agent. Without her, he probably wouldn't have been able to do it. And to find out it had all been a lie? His heart was probably bleeding out in his chest.

"You aren't understanding me, Itachi. She was never yours to begin with. Amiko's role was to get you to trust her. To be the only one that you trusted. And then, you would be unable to resist having someone to talk to about your treachery, and we'd find out where your loyalties truly lay. We're proud of your commitment to the Village, Itachi. I suppose you probably guessed, too, that her death was also a part of her mission. She knew it and accepted it for the fate of Konoha."

No! He rattled Danzo against the wall, willing him to stop talking. Must… control… emotion. He took a deep breath to steady his nerves. He would deal with his own problems once he had left the village. Instead, he fixed Danzo with one final, steely glare. Frantically, he shoved his emotions out of the way, and ice laced his voice when he spoke again. "Remember your promise, Danzo Shimura. Sasuke. Alive and well." Danzo's only response was a smug smile.

Itachi released him and was gone in an instant, leaving Danzo, Root, ANBU, and Konoha far behind.

* * *

Hanabi's father had been so frightened about her disappearance that he couldn't even summon the anger he needed to chastise her for running away. "Just… don't do it again," he told her, pulling her in for a hug.

"Okay!" she exclaimed, unflappable as ever.

"Training today has been canceled," he told them both gravely, "and neither of you are to leave the house until I tell you so." His expression brooked no argument.

Hinata's eyes widened. Canceling training happened so rarely that she did not even dare hope anymore. Hanabi, on the other hand, was too young to recognize such a delicate situation. "Why? Did I make you too angry?" Tears gathered in her eyes and threatened to overflow, all happiness from her new friend shattered. The thought that her family would not forgive her had never entered her mind, and now she was scared that it was true.

Hiashi, on the other hand, believed that his daughters should not be coddled. There were dangers in the world that one should never ignore. It was unwise, in his opinion, to shelter even children from the darkness of the Shinobi world. "The neighboring clan, the Uchiha, were all killed last night, and the murderer is still at large."

"How large?" Hanabi asked innocently, having never heard the phrase. No one laughed or answered her honest question, though. She didn't ask it again; her family didn't look very happy and she didn't want to annoy them with too many questions.

"One of them is in my class," Hinata said softly.

Hiashi's eyes found hers. "Sasuke is the only survivor, Hinata," he told her gently. "His brother, Itachi, was the killer." Hinata's eyes widened even more, shocked by the news. "Be kind to him at school, Hinata. He will need friends more than ever."

"Yes, Father," she said meekly, still reeling from the news.

"Father, are you going to go catch the bad guy?" Hanabi asked him.

Hiashi laid a hand on her shoulder. "Only if the Hokage asks it of me. Shinobi respect the decisions of their leader. Lord Hokage will assemble the right ninja for the job, and we need not worry. But just to be safe, we're going to stay home and protect each other, alright?" Both girls nodded, understanding as much as their ages and experience allowed.

That meant that they could play in their rooms all day. The two girls shared a knowing look, trying to hide their smiles. They slowly left the room, heads bowed with respect. Whatever the situation entailed, they knew that their father took it seriously, and whatever Hiashi took seriously had better be taken seriously by all. They marched slowly out of the dining room, trying to look sad and scared. Then, as soon as they were out of sight, they exchanged a look and raced to Hinata's room, giggling.

In the dining room, Hiashi sighed to himself, listening to the hurriedly stomping feet traveling down his hallway. "Even the Shinobi world does not prepare you for daughters," he said to no one, rubbing his forehead with the heel of his hand.

Once inside, Hinata stripped all of the blankets and sheets off of her bed, dumping them unceremoniously on the floor. "Blanket fort!" exclaimed Hanabi with excitement, throwing both hands into the air and dancing in a small circle. Hinata laughed at her enthusiasm, already hooking the corners of a sheet around the bedpost and her chair. Hanabi, too small to really be of help in that department, took to arranging the pillows and cushions within the fort.

It was still daytime, so they didn't really need a flashlight and it didn't feel as secret, but it was still fun. They spent the afternoon diving in and out of their creation, pretending to be all manner of wild beasts. It was when Hinata exclaimed "I'm a deer!" that Hanabi remembered her encounter outside Konoha. "Hinata?" Hanabi asked, suddenly very serious for her usual demeanor. Hinata stopped prancing about the room to look at her younger sister. Mistakenly, she thought something she had done had made the little girl sad, so she crashed to her knees on the cushions and threw her arms around her shoulders. "How do you feel about fighting with me?"

Hinata stiffened. She didn't really want to discuss this, either. "Hanabi," she said with some difficulty, "I don't really want to, but we have to."

Hanabi met her eyes. "Because fighting each other makes us both stronger, so we can protect each other?" She wanted Koinu to be right.

Hinata apparently hadn't considered that before. Her answer was going to be, "Because Father said so." Hanabi's words made sense, so she stewed them over in her mind. Hanabi's reason sounded so much better than her father's. "Yes, actually. That's right!" She squeezed her little sister even harder. "The stronger we are, the better we can protect each other!"

Hanabi grabbed her sister's hands, never wanting to let go. "I will protect you from the scary killer guy, Hinata! You can count on me!"

And she would, she vowed to herself. No matter what it took. If there were ugly, ambiguously large, dangerous men out there wanting to kill her sister, she'd be the strongest ninja in the entire world, and the enemy would have to fight her first. And he would die, painfully, for trying to take Hinata away from her.

It never even occurred to her that the soft-spoken, warm-hug-giving, kind and knowledgeable man in the forest had anything at all to do with the events that had transpired. They simply could not be the same person.

Sometimes, children felt the truth more easily than adults did.

* * *

A/N: Yep, I hate Danzo, too. That guy is such a dick.

Itachi showed a lot of temper here. He keeps himself pretty cool and collected in the anime and the manga, but it's more believable, to me, if he loses it a bit after such a sensitive time regarding people he cares about to complete toolbags like Danzo. Hopefully you agree with me on that score.

Sorry for the slow update. :) I've kind of been busy with work and an online gaming tournament that spans the month of June. If you're a nerd in one way, you're a nerd in many, I suppose. You'll have to forgive my other distractions.

Also, I'm very pleased with the number of email notifications I've been receiving regarding reviews and favorites. Support for my work seems to be growing. Thanks so much for that! Reviews honestly make my day, so if there is anything you really liked or hated, please take the time to tell me so that I can continue to write things you like. Thanks!


	7. Expectations

Chapter Six: Expectations

* * *

A/N: Timeline: t=+2 years, 1 month (2 years and 1 month post-massacre)

* * *

From that day forward, Hanabi poured her efforts into training. She and Hinata never shied away from hitting each other again. Putting everything they had into trying to land blows made them stronger. Both girls felt that they were improving. During training, they attacked each other fiercely, faces contorted into masks of concentration, struggling to land a single hit. During the evenings, they spent all of their time together, giggling about anything and nothing, tickling, drawing pictures, and reading together. As sisters, they were inseparable. They never let the rivalry between them in the dojo supersede their relationship as sisters and best friends. Nothing would ever come between them. Never.

As Hanabi grew older, she realized just how much Hinata hated training. Hanabi had no doubt in her mind that, if Hinata had had the choice, she probably would have stopped training to become a ninja altogether. Fighting was probably the lowlight of her day. If it had only been the two of them, she might have enjoyed it, but under the watchful and disapproving eye of their Father, it was clear that she was uncomfortable, and Hanabi knew exactly why: their father was _ridiculously_ tough on her.

He treated the two of them differently. Hinata, as the heiress to their family seat, had _expectations._ Expectations, Hanabi learned, meant that everyone wanted you to do things a certain way no matter what you thought about it. No one had expectations of Hanabi because she was younger, but Hinata was another matter. Hiashi always made her train extra hard. She had to have perfect manners, while Hanabi got away with accidentally using improper grammar or forgetting a please and thank you here and there. Hinata wasn't allowed to play as much, and she was never allowed to get dirty. Hanabi had an idea what _expectations _meant, and she was glad that they were not required of her.

Expectations when it came to ninja training made all the difference in the two of them. Hinata was pressured to be the best, and as the older sister, it was expected that she beat Hanabi each and every time without fail. Hanabi, free from the bonds of expectations, was really just having fun with it. On Koinu's advice, she was taking her training exercises seriously, and she found she had a natural talent for physical combat. She felt graceful and strong when she was fighting with Hinata, and it was invigorating. Unfortunately, she had proven to be a better fighter than Hinata as a result. Hinata didn't really mind; she loved her little sister and was proud of her skills. But their father minded… their father minded very much. His face was impassive as they fought, but each time Hinata fell—which was often—he would shake his head disapprovingly, or frown, or worse, walk away and leave them as if he had completely lost interest, and every time he did so, Hanabi saw a mental spike driven through her older sister's heart. She had tried going easy on Hinata, but Hiashi noticed right away and chastised her severely for it.

As time went on, Hinata withdrew. Her smiles became more rare. She spent more time alone in her room than together with Hanabi in their famous blanket forts. She laughed less. Hanabi had really started to miss her. Still, Hanabi's ability to sense distress would not let her down. Instead of begging Hinata to play with her, she tried a different approach. When Hinata was shut up in her room, Hanabi sought her out. She'd sneak into the room when their father wasn't looking and hop up onto the bed with Hinata. She cuddled in close and hugged her and showered her with compliments. "It's okay, Hinata," she'd say. "I think you're beautiful, and smart, and really nice. I know you're strong. I would never want any other sister, not ever." It made Hanabi intensely sad, though, that Hinata would cry and hug her tight and thank her, but there was nothing else that Hanabi could think of to do.

It got to be especially bad when they were fighting one day with Ko in attendance. Ko was Hinata's caretaker and protector. He followed her everywhere whenever Hinata left the household. He had also become Hinata's stand-in father. There was no replacement for Hiashi, of course, and Hinata would forever seek his approval and despair when it wasn't given, but sometimes Hinata wished that Ko were her real father in secret. She loved Ko dearly.

But when Hanabi landed an especially good kick that sent Hinata out across the floor, Hiashi stalked away in disgust, and Hinata had had enough. Ko had seen her defeated and her father didn't believe in her. Tears rolling down her face, she ran. Hanabi looked from the doorway where her father exited to the doorway that Ko had chased after Hinata, and it suddenly dawned on her, too late, that this was a bigger situation than she had thought.

Looking back, she would always recognize that moment as an important one, and she would feel guilty about it forever. It was in that moment where everyone had left her alone in the dojo that she realized her precocious skill had cost her older sister everything she had ever held dear, and never once had Hinata complained about it or resented her for it. And, it was this moment that cost Hanabi her sister. Literally.

* * *

It had been like any other day. The two woke up, bolted down their healthy breakfast like ravenous wolves, and made their way to the dojo for training. They stretched, all the while talking about their latest dream or nightmare, giggling. The previous day's trouble had been all but forgotten. While they were still in the midst of stretching out their muscles, their father entered the room, trailing a very pretty woman with black hair and red eyes. Both of them recognized her clothing as the regulation uniform of a Shinobi. A real ninja!

They could hardly contain their excitement. All their young lives they'd spent preparing for the day when they could become actual ninjas. They shared a look, and both knew what the other was thinking. Today was the day that they would prove themselves to the beautiful woman in the flak jacket. They had never imagined that a ninja could look so _regal_. She was the epitome of what a kunoichi should be. Nonetheless, they tried to compose themselves. It would not do to appear unseemly in front of the red-eyed jounin or their father. Hanabi thought to herself that they were doing a pretty good job of it, actually. They waited to see what the lovely woman would do, eyes twinkling with excitement.

Hiashi's eyes fell upon them. "Hinata, leave us. You're free for the day," their father commanded. Hinata's eyes widened. She looked uncertainly between Hanabi, the pretty kunoichi who had arrived, and her father, but he didn't rescind the command. Confused, she left the room with one last glance at Hanabi. Hanabi saw the concern there, and wondered if Hinata was worried that something bad was about to happen. Hanabi didn't have much time to worry about that, though. Hiashi turned his attention back to her. "This is Kurenai Yuhi," he told her, indicating the new arrival. "I want to show her what you can do."

She nodded. Her father tossed her a kunai. Her first reaction was surprise, but then her father came at her and she didn't have any time for that. She had never had to fight him before, and at five years old, she knew she was outmatched. He attempted to strike her, hands trailing the blue signature of chakra as he cut arcs through the air. All she could do was dodge. Was he really coming at her with the Gentle Fist? She and Hinata had never attempted to actually use the Gentle Fist on each other. When they sparred it was all about form and execution. There was no need to put chakra into it, and anyway Hanabi was too young to be able to master it so it wouldn't have been fair. Palm strike after palm strike arced toward her. She dipped, sidestepped, and took step after step backward, avoiding the blows.

Her eyes were focused on his hands, but every now and then she caught the determined look on his face. _He was actually trying to strike her!_ This wasn't a drill! The knowledge of that made her angry. He had not prepared her for this. It was grossly unfair! She twisted and gripped her kunai the proper way, ready to use it. Surely a little slash wouldn't hurt him too badly, but he'd get the point. He saw her move and smirked, approving. Even that made her angry. She twirled out of the way and went on the offensive, her face a mask of concentration. She dropped and made a spinning kick at his ankles to try to trip him, but he stepped out of the way of her much shorter legs. Then, in one motion, she swiped upward with the kunai, trying to land a slash at his chest. It was the opening he was waiting for, though. He twisted and came down on her shoulder with an elbow, knocking her to her knees, hard. She grunted from the impact.

Hiashi straightened and waited. "Stand up, Hanabi," he ordered her.

She took mental stock of her limbs, panting from exertion. Her knees were on fire. She thought about standing, but thought it might be best to wait a second, first, for the pain to ebb.

Kurenai spoke for the first time. "Very well, then, I will take Hinata under my wing." Hanabi's eyes widened, realization dawning on her. This wasn't just another training exercise after all. The pretty Shinobi was not here to evaluate them both and help them toward becoming ninja. She was here because… because… "But are you… sure that's what you want? She is your firstborn and heir to your household. The life of a genin can be dangerous and brief." Hanabi could hardly believe her ears. Her father had given Hinata to this woman to take away, and the ninja lady thought that there was a good chance Hinata might die! She put more pressure on her knees, testing the floorboards._ She would stand!_

"Do what you will," Hiashi said roughly, eliciting a quiet gasp from the younger woman. Hanabi struggled to her feet, brandishing the kunai. She would not be ignored, either. But her father was not yet done insulting her sister. "She is of less worth than her sister, five years her junior. The Hyuuga clan has no use for such an heir." This was too much to bear for Hanabi. She glared at her father and thought about attacking him. Her knees felt shattered, though, and she was afraid that if she took a step she would fall on them again and hurt them worse. "If you have nothing more to say, we have work to do," he told Kurenai, dismissing her. "Leave us now."

Kurenai turned from the pair. "Alright," she said, accepting his decision, leaving Hanabi with her head spinning so fast she thought she would get dizzy.

That was the day that Kurenai had walked out the door, and Hinata had gone with her. She would not see her again for a long, long time. It would feel to Hanabi, for a long time after, that her sister had been led to a slaughterhouse, and her father had sold her. But if Hinata had been led to a slaughterhouse and her father had been the one who sold her, what did that make Hanabi?

When the door was shut, she shrieked a battle cry and leapt into the air, meaning to come down on her father with the knife in her hand, heedless of what killing him might mean. All that mattered was that the most important person in her life had been taken away, and he was to blame. Her pain made her invincible. "I hate you!" She screamed midair. If she died, it wouldn't matter. She already felt dead.

He lashed out with the stick in his hand, easily deflecting her onslaught and knocking her onto her side on the floorboards. She rolled over onto her stomach and lifted her face off the ground with her hands. "I hate you! I hate you I hate you I hate you!" she shouted, slapping the wood beneath her palms, voice breaking with emotion.

Hiashi scowled down at her. "If you ever want to be a ninja, you should learn to control your feelings," he said tonelessly. She wanted to stab him in his cold, loveless face.

"How can you say that?" she screamed, tears rolling down her face. "You gave away my sister! What if she dies?" Hundreds of scenes of Hinata being killed flashed before her eyes. She remembered the too-large murderer that he'd told them about long ago, and imagined he was still out there, prowling the land for innocent, blanket fort-building girls who should not have tried to be ninjas. It made her hate him even more. She hoped the scary killer guy found her father instead, and Hinata and she could live in this house with Ko and be a real family with a better father.

His eyes narrowed. "That is none of our concern. You have a lot of work to do, Hanabi. Let's not waste our time." He adjusted his stance, and instinctively she knew he was about to attack again.

She couldn't believe what she was hearing. Hinata was gone. Already the world felt lonely without her. No more blanket forts. No more giggles. No more cuddling and reading bedtime stories. As her father lunged at her again, she filled her heart with hate. In every place in her heart that she had filled with Hinata's joy, she filled with hatred for him. She made an on-the-spot decision. Yes, she would become strong, no matter what the cost, because one thing was for certain.

Hinata needed her protection now more than ever.

She gripped her kunai.

* * *

A/N: There was definitely something to expand on this scene, given the anime and manga. There's nothing said about what happened before or after that fateful moment when Kurenai took Hinata away. Hanabi looked pretty pissed off to me. Did she look that way to you? Yeah, perhaps it was just the expression she wears when she's fighting, but what if there were more to it than that? Hm?

We're back to regularly scheduled publishing now. :) My event is over and I can spend a few moments editing the chapters I have prepared. I was really hoping that someone would edit my chapters before I gave them to you though. :( I might just have to keep self editing. No, that wasn't a request for a beta reader (but thanks for thinking of me!). I don't want to wait for documents to be returned.

I hope you enjoyed!


	8. Fix

Chapter Seven: Fix

* * *

A/N: Timeline: t=+2 years 1 month (2 years, 1 month post-massacre)

* * *

The last two years had been utter hell to Itachi.

Outwardly, he was deadpan calm as a Shinobi should be. That much, at least, was pretty much a requirement. Though he had what he would consider a 'good' partner for the Akatsuki, he still would never be able to fully trust the man. He and Kisame had developed a mutual respect. Both understood that the other had things from their pasts that they absolutely did not want to share, and both had figured out that the secrets they were hiding were the ones that made them feel the most human. There was more to their stories than that they had each killed some people. Itachi had guessed that Kisame had killed someone he had cared about, and he was pretty sure that Kisame had guessed the same thing about him. Itachi was also pretty certain that most of the other members of Akatsuki had not done anything similar, and in this respect he and Kisame had something in common. It was strange, but he _almost_ considered Kisame a friend.

Almost, because whatever else could be said of the blue-skinned man, he was solidly loyal to Tobi's cause. If he had guessed that Itachi was actually gathering intel for Konoha, he would sell out Itachi in an instant, that much was sure. It was another trait that Itachi actually respected in Kisame, but it did put a bit of a rift in the being friends part. Not that he really cared to make friends, though. Friendship was incomprehensible.

What Itachi truly appreciated about his gruff companion, though, was that he understood the need for space. Occasionally, one of the two of them would feel the urge to be alone and disappear for a week or more at a time. It was understood without either of them saying a word that they did not want to be followed. If Kisame took off, Itachi let him, and neither of them said anything about it when he was suddenly there again. Likewise, Itachi discovered that if he, too, wanted to vanish for a spell to get some alone time, Kisame was not going to follow him. Again, Itachi suspected that it had something to do with the parts of them that made them human. It would not do to show any kind of human affection in what was more or less considered an evil organization. To each other, they mostly needed to appear invincible, merciless, and one hair trigger away from going off the deep end and killing everybody.

Itachi had absolutely no idea what Kisame did with his stolen free time, but what Itachi did with his free time was grieve. In general, he spoke very little. Most of the time, he was sifting through his memories, trying to recall the faces of those that he had killed. He knew that it wasn't healthy behavior, but it seemed wrong to forget his family. He wished he had taken more pictures back then, but he'd been too busy for that. As the faces of his mother and father faded in his memory and became blurry, he became more and more distressed. He wanted to remember every detail: the angle of the arch of his mother's eyebrows or the breadth of her smile, the way his father's lips creased when he frowned, his mother's singing voice or his father's deep hum, anything. But as time went on, all of the tiniest details faded to nothingness, and he had only the most ambiguous features of them both committed to memory. It felt false and incomplete, and it bothered him. He was losing memories of Sasuke, too, and that hurt even worse. His brother was still alive out there, somewhere. There was still the potential for new memories, and none of them were going to be good. Likely, they would clash and harsh words would be said. He really wanted to save the best memories to balance out the negative ones, and it was getting harder. Fortunately, the inevitability that he was going to see Sasuke's face again meant that he didn't feel quite as horrible for forgetting his face, and it was still pretty clear in his mind. He had once kept a picture in his pocket, but sometime during that horrific night, he'd lost it. If he started to forget, though, he needed only to see his own reflection to be reminded of certain aspects. For the most part, he and Sasuke had the same visage.

What confused him the most, though, was that there was one memory that never weakened, even in the slightest. When he was feeling especially tumultuous, he could easily recall Hanabi's bright smile, the way the sun had glinted off of her brown hair, the innocence in those wide, pale eyes, and the joy that radiated from her like she was her own star as she held the simple necklace aloft between them. He could always recall how warm her hands had been. It helped him hang on to remember that. She was the only person left in the world that didn't know he was a monster.

And she was the only reason he was still alive. So many times, he'd wondered what the point of living really was. His relationship with Amiko had been an awful, sweet, and torturous lie. He could never believe that she had ever actually loved him. He supposed that she did, but the members of Root were notorious for having no capacity for any real emotion. It could all have been a very skilled act. Now he would never know, so he could never believe it. He knew he'd never love another woman, and he felt robbed that his only lover had been a farce. Furthermore, he no longer had a home. Konoha was forever off limits, and he had no living family left to him besides a little brother that likely wanted him dead in a hundred ways more violent than the last. He had no friends aside from his monstrous Akatsuki partner who would surely hand him over to Leader if he even suspected he'd betray them. There was nothing left for him but his inevitable death at Sasuke's hands, so what was the point?

Hundreds of times, he'd been ready to die. He and Kisame squabbled sometimes, and he'd be lying if he said he wasn't trying to provoke him into killing him outright. Unfortunately, Kisame more or less forgot about their squabbles or flippantly forgave him, so death at his hands never came to fruition. Sasuke wasn't old enough or strong enough to be able to kill him. Dozens of times, he'd simply held a kunai over his wrists and considered digging deep into them to let his lifeblood escape like he wished that he could. If he was feeling especially morose, he'd just lose himself in the memory of killing everyone and nearly starve to death.

It was Hanabi that brought him back from the brink of destruction. _"Will I ever see you again, Koinu?" _Why had he told her his name was Puppy? He didn't really know. It was the first thing that he had thought of that wasn't his real name. She had been so bright and full of life, and her only concerns in life had boiled down to two things: she loved her sister and didn't want her to be hurt, and she was afraid she might never see him again. Who was he to deny an innocent child her dreams?

She had given him a simple, elegant necklace that he actually loved very much. It was just his style, and the eyeshapes upon it were so deftly appropriate that he knew it must have been fate that brought them together that day. _"Will I ever see you again, Koinu?" _When he thought about her, he felt that he couldn't do it. He couldn't kill himself. It felt stupid to think that way, but he was worried that if he ended his own life, she would find out about it, and she would cry.

And he absolutely could not let that happen.

Her smile had saved him a hundred times or more. It gave him just enough strength to pocket his self-destructive tendencies and plaster impassiveness upon his face. He would get through this. He would do what had to be done to survive, at least until Sasuke killed him. If he could do that much, he could be absolved from his sins and protect his little brother from all the cruelty the world was sure to visit upon him. He could give Sasuke the strength he needed to protect himself. And then—then and only then—he could be quit of this painful world and all the memories like phantoms floating around in it. Then he might find lasting peace.

_Will I ever see you again, Koinu?_

_Yes, little one. You will see me again. _"Kisame," he said softly. He never had to raise his voice around his partner.

Kisame Hoshigaki was, by now, very familiar with the quiet, usually silent way of Itachi Uchiha. It was far more favorable for the man than being paired with a chatterbox like Deidara or a zealot like Hidan, and he was grateful for it. "Hm…?" He turned to regard his much younger partner. Itachi impressed Kisame, though he'd never say that to his face. For one so young, he had considerable philosophical depth. He was also incredibly talented, wise, and had one of the highest body counts of anyone in Akatsuki. Despite that, he saw right through the young man. Itachi was a tortured soul, intensely sad. He was a bleeding heart and tears wrapped in a paper-thin shell of blood-tarnished steel. He was a squishy, gentle center wrapped in cold and merciless violence. It was... _intriguing_.

Itachi turned his deep, fathomless black eyes to his comrade. "I'm going out." He stood.

Kisame nodded. "Okay. Be careful, Itachi." He stood as well. "I suppose I can go on a little excursion of my own, as well. I'll meet you at Rendezvous 3. Don't die." It was kind of a joke between them, meaning Kisame always warned him not to die and Itachi said nothing. Itachi nodded, and the two parted ways. He wouldn't say it, but he did appreciate Kisame's attempts at humor. It at least showed that he cared in his warped way.

He didn't hurry because he didn't need to. There was no pressing business in Akatsuki right now. Their last command had been to "be ready" in case they were needed. Apparently, Tobi was up to something, but so much time passed between orders that he and Kisame actually had a lot of down time. That was good, in his opinion. He didn't really enjoy fighting. Down time was just fine by him.

It took him a little over a week to reach Konoha. When he finally caught sight of the moonlit wall looming up in the distance, he felt his heart stop. He had not expected the sight of the village to affect him so. All of the bright colors of the buildings and the people in it were at sharp odds with his dark and tragic memories. He took a deep breath, trying to suppress the childish wish that he could someday return home for real. Wouldn't that have been a sight? The S-rank criminal clan killer Itachi Uchiha, strolling through the gate, a welcome homecoming.

_I won't be here long, _he thought. _I just need to see her and make sure she's okay. She doesn't even need to see that I'm here. She probably doesn't remember me anyway. _He just had to see her one more time. He needed to witness her life. One more shot of happiness to get him through the next few months. He smiled a wry smile; somehow, a toddler had become his heroin.

He knew where she lived. The Hyuuga residence was not very far from the Uchiha residence. Furthermore, the Hyuuga were kind of a rival clan to the Uchiha. Nothing happened within their grounds that his family had not known about, too. Hiashi Hyuuga was the head of the Main Branch. He had two daughters, Hinata and Hanabi. Hinata was roughly Sasuke's age, and would be about ten years old now. Hanabi would be around five.

It was ridiculously easy to sneak into the Hyuuga grounds. Arrogance had apparently convinced them that they didn't need any guards through the night. Inwardly he chastised Hiashi Hyuuga. Surely a past incident involving the Hidden Cloud should have taught him some sense. He stole through the shadows and sneaked around the perimeter of the house. From his knowledge of the layout, there were only a few rooms that could have been hers, and he nailed it on his first try. Silently, he slid the window open, and within moments he was inside.

Simply by staring down at her sleeping form, he felt all of his troubles slough away like a reptile skin. If he had said such a thing out loud, he knew he would have felt silly, but feelings were never clear-cut or reasonable, in his experience. Amiko was a testament to that. He shivered, suddenly cold. Perhaps it was better if he didn't think about her, either. All he knew was that inside, he hurt constantly, and there before him in a tiny innocent girl lay his salvation. She was breathing evenly, her features slack as she dreamed. The corner of his mouth turned upward in the hint of a smile when he noticed the puddle of drool on her pillow. Her arms were squeezed around one of her pillows, and her legs lay helter-skelter across the covers. She was apparently an aggressive sleeper, and he found it utterly adorable. He squeezed his eyes shut, and opened them again, attempting to commit every single detail to a permanent memory. When days got especially bad, he would remember this, and he hoped it would drag a smile across his face.

Finally, when he was certain that he had formed a lasting memory, he turned to exit through the window. In a very un-Itachi-like moment, his black and red Akatsuki cloak dragged through some of her toys and caused a metallic scraping sound. He swore softly and bent to retrieve the corner of the cloak. As he did so, his head bumped into the nightstand and sent a glass of water sailing to the floor, where it—of course—immediately shattered and splashed water everywhere. He froze, halfway bent over, and strained his ears to try to discern if she'd heard. The sheets rustled, and he heard a heavy, soft feminine sigh. Then there was stillness. She was still asleep. "Saved," he whispered, and he unbent his form to stand straight again.

As his head reached bed level, though, he came face to face with her strange, ghostly white eyes wide in the darkness. His breath caught and he froze all over again. She stared at him for a beat.

And then another.

He expected her to scream. He didn't expect her to remember him or see him there in the dark. He also didn't expect her to welcome his sudden and surely frightening presence in her bedroom. Neither of them moved, or breathed, or spoke. Finally, after blinking a few times and realizing that she was not dreaming, she whispered, "Koinu?"

He placed a smile on his face and nodded once, then realized she probably couldn't see that. "Yes, it's me, Hanabi."

Again, neither of them moved for several moments. Then, in an inhumanly fast flash, she was standing, her head barely above his waist, pounding at his chest with both fists. "I hate you! I hate you! I hate you!" she shrieked. He couldn't contain his shock. What had he done? He held up both hands and let her beat him, unsure of what to do. Then, much to his further surprise, she broke down into tears and collapsed upon his feet, her hair brushing his bare toes. "I hate youuuu…" she sobbed. "You lied to me!"

His eyes darted around to room, half afraid that someone might hear and come running. He made what he was sure was a poor decision and scooped her up into his arms. Then, he exited out the window, the tiny girl slumped against his chest in apparent defeat, sobbing uncontrollably. No matter the risk, it simply would not do for Hiashi Hyuuga to find Itachi Uchiha in his youngest daughter's bedroom at this hour of the night. Or any hour of the night, for that matter. Nor any night at all.

In a hasty decision, he leapt the wall at the site of the crack that she'd slipped out just two years before. They didn't need to go too far; it was the middle of the night and no one was likely to come looking out here. He set her down with her back to the wall and squatted down in front of her. The moonlight glinted off of her pale eyes, bright with tears. It bothered him that she was crying, and it bothered him more so that she apparently thought he was the cause. Was she angry that he'd not come to visit her? "I'm sorry," he said to her, confused. He wasn't sure how to make her stop crying or how to make up for it, or even what he'd done to upset her or for what he was apologizing. He knew with absolute certainty, though, that he was sorry for it. "What have I done?"

Her face fixed itself into a frown, and she wrapped her arms around her knees. "You lied to me," she whispered, her voice hollow. "You said that if I worked really hard to become strong, I could protect Hinata. You were wrooong!" She launched into another bout of weeping.

His eyes widened with alarm. What had happened to Hinata? "Tell me everything," he insisted fiercely. He felt the urge to kill rising in his blood. His hands gripped his knees and he squeezed hard, trying to quell the bloodlust. If someone had hurt Hinata—which had clearly hurt Hanabi—he'd make sure they paid for it with blood, and lots of it.

"I did what you told me to do. I trained really hard and I got stronger. Hinata didn't get much stronger, so Father got rid of her and now it's just me. I want my sister back, you bastard!" she ended on a shriek, her eyes narrowing with anger. "I did what you said and they took her awayyyy!" She was wailing again. He started to panic, needing her tears to stop, for her to smile and hug him.

Hiashi… got rid of… Hinata? He ignored her insult and focused on the main details. "Where is Hinata now?" Dead? Or just gone?

Hanabi started hyperventilating. "I… don't… know…" she sobbed out, frantic. "She left with… Kurenai… months ago. Koinu…" She stared into her eyes, pleading. "Help me… I miss her."

He reached out and wrapped an arm around her small shoulders, then pulled her into his chest for a hug. He stroked her hair and let her cry. "No more tears, Hanabi. Hinata is alive, she's just gone." Hanabi choked out a loud sob. Clearly, she didn't like Hinata being gone. "The last time we met, you said no one could ever take your sister away from you," he reminded her. He felt her shaking shoulders still as she contemplated what he was saying. "You said you'd kill whoever tried. Where's the spitting cat that I met two years ago? You would never have let them take your sister away."

She pulled back from him and stared at his face with surprise. "I did say that, didn't I?" He nodded. A slow smile spread across her face. Her eyes glittered with ferocity in the moonlight, a feral panther kitten in the black of night. "You're right!" She squeezed him, her small arms barely able to fit around his back. "Oh, thank you, Koinu! You're the best!"

He smiled and patted her head, feeling his heart fill with love once again. "You're welcome, Hanabi." Heavens help the poor bastard who upset his little girl. The glitter in her eyes was steel, not glass. Somewhere in her gentle heart, Hanabi hid a ruthless side.

Hanabi was already forming a plan of action to save Hinata, and within her realm of fantasy, she was content. Resolute.

* * *

A/N: Bah for slow updates. Apologies. I don't have any excuses this time. My would-be editor has read the published story, but I still can't pin him down for an edit. I'll keep trying. I want to give you guys the best that I possibly can. I really don't want to disappoint!


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